The Princess and the Manservant
by WickedlyAwesomeMe
Summary: Sometimes, Merlin forgets that Arthur's actually a girl. Always-a-girl!Arthur. Merthur. Canon divergent. Very, very AU.
1. Part I

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own BBC Merlin. Sigh.**

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 **A/N: Hello! You have stumbled upon this** _ **ridiculous**_ **fic of mine. So this was formulated after I tried searching for an Always-a-girl!Arthur Pendragon fics. I've seen quite a lot of Female Merlin fics already, and I thought "what if it's the reverse", you know? So BAM! This baby is born, nurtured, and well-loved.**

 **This whole fic is canon divergent. Obviously, Arthur is a girl here. Also, if you expect the exact retelling of the series, then this fic isn't for you. If you expect that I at least will adhere to the timeline of the series, then this fic isn't for you, too. I've emphasized that this fic is very,** _ **very**_ **AU so yep. I included some scenes from the series, of course, but only those I deemed necessary for this fic.**

 **Also, see that "Tragedy" thing under genre? Yep, okay, now think carefully if you would still like to read this fic lol.**

 **This will have a total of three chapters. I still plan to at least re-read chapter two and catch some errors, so I'll post that tomorrow. Chapter three already half-way finished.**

 **Anyway, that's it! Enjoy, and please don't forget to review. This whole thing isn't beta-ed, so if you spot glaring mistakes, I apologize in advance.**

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 **Title:** The Princess and the Manservant  
 **Author:** WickedlyAwesomeMe  
 **Language:** English  
 **Form:** Multi-chaptered  
 **Genre:** Romance/Tragedy  
 **Rating:** M  
 **Warning:** Major drama, innuendos, lemony goodness, character death  
 **Pairing:** Merlin/Female!Arthur Pendragon  
 **Summary:** Sometimes, Merlin forgets that Arthur's actually a girl. Always-a-girl!Arthur. Merthur. Canon divergent. Very, very AU.

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 **The Princess and the Manservant**

* * *

 **Part I**

* * *

The first time Merlin saw her, he honestly thought she was a man.

The gangly eighteen-year-old didn't intend to be noticed when he ventured to Camelot. Gaius and his mother specifically told him he shouldn't bring too much attention to himself; as a secret sorcerer, it would be disastrous to let someone too close to him.

But then of course, they all forgot he was _Merlin_.

Disaster loved him very, very much.

He just couldn't help but call out this wicked knight on his very first day in Camelot. Venturing into the market place, he spied him and some band of Camelotian knights goading a poor servant. The mysterious knight, clothed with a helmet and chainmail, was happily throwing knives towards the frightened servant. Merlin could not accept this type of bullying, and before he could dwell on his actions, he was already stomping towards the ruckus and calling the knight an idiot.

A hush fell among the crowd. Even the rescued servant was sadly shaking his head at him. Merlin could not understand why he wasn't grateful at all.

"What is your name, boy?" the knight asked, his voice muffled by his helmet.

Merlin secretly bristled, offended at being called as such. He was eighteen! He was very much an adult, and judging from the built of this knight, Merlin believed he was even _younger_ than him.

"Merlin," he defiantly spat, lifting his chin. He congratulated himself for not flinching at the sight of his pointy sword.

"Tell me, _Mer_ lin," he drawled. "Do you know how to walk on your knees?"

Anger flashed on his face, but before he could retort something in return, one of her lackeys kicked him from behind and he was brought onto his knees. Merlin was briefly stunned at their audacity, but he was on his feet immediately and lunged angrily towards the knight.

A fight broke out – a clearly unfair one – and Merlin knew quite early that fighting against the knight was futile. He tried to discreetly use his magic, tripping the stupid knight with fallen crates of fruits and vegetables, but the bully always gained momentum. He was admittedly good with a sword, a weapon Merlin hadn't yielded at all, and Merlin was forced to bow down and surrender.

His cheeks burned at the embarrassment, but he knew if he had not given up, that pointy sword might have lost itself into his chest. The knight was, after all, extremely vicious.

Despite the shame, Merlin kept his chin lifted defiantly, even when the knight crouched down to level his face with his.

"You surrender, boy?" He could hear the surprise in his voice, and Merlin had to bite his tongue from saying something stupid in return.

The knight then yanked his helmet and Merlin couldn't help but _stare_. This wasn't a man at all! This knight's soft features were undeniably feminine, with eyes as blue as the ocean in his mother's stories and pink lips stretched wide into a wicked, bemused grin. Her golden hair was braided intricately on top of her head. With the way she was carrying herself, Merlin deduced she was no commoner.

"A lady," he breathlessly murmured, his eyes steadily growing.

"A _princess_ ," she corrected, that wicked smile still on her face. Merlin heard himself gasp in surprise. "Next time, be careful with your words, _Mer_ lin."

He was thrown into the dungeons for the night, much to Gaius' amusement. His mentor then told him he had encountered King Uther's daughter, the Princess Arthur, and Merlin felt like an absolute idiot.

"So much for staying unnoticed," Gaius tutted, his perpetually lifted eyebrow even rising higher on his forehead.

Suffice it to say, his first day in Camelot already proved to be more eventful than the eighteen years he had back in Ealdor.

* * *

No one really knew why the princess was named as such. Servants talked while Merlin attentively listened, highly intrigued by the mightiest swordsman – swords _woman_ – in the whole Five Kingdoms. Rumors said that Arthur would brutally punish anyone who dared ask for her real name. No one had ever attempted to question her name anymore, and people then accepted that she was Princess Arthur.

One thing Merlin understood, however, was that King Uther very much wanted a _son_. His ward, handsome and noble Prince Morgan, was the envy of all men in the whole kingdom. And apparently _Arthur's_. Hunith once pointed out her son was quite an observant little boy. Merlin knew from sheer observation that the princess was very much envious of Morgan.

Which was why, he thought, that maybe Arthur wanted to act as a prince. He had yet to see her in a dress; Arthur always wore breeches and tunics. Although not exactly frowned upon in Camelot, it was highly unlikely for a princess not to wear dresses like a normal one.

Merlin also never saw Arthur out of her chainmail, looking like the knight who were always guarding her from any harm. Merlin reckoned she could very much take care of herself. He once raised this point to Gaius, who told him that Uther didn't think the same as Merlin and had been fiercely protective of Arthur ever since her mother died.

Merlin tried to steer clear from the princess after their embarrassing fight in the town's square. She was a brat and a bully; no maidservant had ever lasted under her. Merlin then had promised himself he would never, _ever_ associate himself with the Princess of Camelot if he wanted to last longer in this kingdom.

Alas, the universe had other plans for him. When a certain fiasco regarding a disguised Lady Helen and a hurtling knife happened, Merlin acted out of instincts and saved the still unconscious princess.

"What reward do you want, boy?" King Uther asked once the commotion had died down. From behind him, Merlin could see Princess Arthur looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Nothing, sire," he humbly replied, wanting to get away from this Great Hall as soon as possible. If Uther discovered he was guilty of using magic, even though it was meant to save his daughter, Uther wouldn't be talking about rewards.

"Nothing?" Uther looked genuinely surprised. "Nonsense, boy." He gestured for his daughter to step forward and Merlin suddenly had a very bad feeling about this. "Since you have valiantly saved the princess, I think it is fitting to make you her personal manservant."

Her face had soured and Merlin bet his expression mirrored hers.

"But Father, he's a _boy_."

Merlin vigorously nodded his head, knowing that it was somewhat improper. Didn't princesses require maidservants instead? But Uther waved his hand dismissively, not listening to anymore of her pleas, and now Merlin was stuck being her manservant.

"How stupid are you?" Princess Arthur thundered that night when he strode inside her bedroom to report for his first day.

Merlin's senses were momentarily assaulted by the flowery fragrance of her room. _This_ was a princess' room, with red and gold trimmings boasting Pendragon royalty, and other flowery and girly stuff. Princess Arthur stuck out like a sore thumb, what with her breeches and tunics and shiny swords.

Princess Arthur crossed her arm against her chest, clearly waiting for a reply. Merlin loudly cleared his throat before retorting, "I honestly expected to be thanked."

He clamped his lips tightly, his eyes widening in surprise for his audacity. He was usually polite with nobles, but Arthur made it _so_ easy for him to be disrespectful.

The princess' eyes had also widened in surprise, before a small, wicked smirk grew on her face. "Actually, this is most fortunate," she then said. "My previous maidservants are always a bore."

Clad in heavy armor, Arthur slinked closer to Merlin until she was mere meters away. Merlin's eyes widened, the flowery fragrance from her hair tickling his nostrils, and he stumbled a few steps back. The princess was honestly quite short, only standing up to his chin. Merlin could easily stare her down, but she exuded command and confidence. He thought that despite her short stature, she was the one staring him _down_ instead.

"Try getting insolent, _Mer_ lin, and you'll find yourself in the stocks."

Merlin swallowed down a groan, knowing his stay in Camelot had just become harder.

* * *

Summer blew away and the cool, fall breeze settled in. Merlin contented himself in watching all the leaves wilting and falling noiselessly on the ground. He loved fall the best; it was neither too cold nor too hot. Merlin knew he should enjoy this before the first snow blanketed the kingdom.

Harsh winter was the worst for him. He always got unbearably cold. Back in Ealdor, where thick cloaks were a luxury, Merlin slept closest to the fire to keep him warm. Hunith forbade him from using magic to make their hut toasty, but sometimes, when his mother was already asleep, Merlin would secretly let magic warm their humble abode. Hunith always slept well during those days.

"Merlin."

He flinched and sighed, looking over his shoulders to warily gaze at the approaching princess. Arthur just got back from the Training Grounds, her braided hair sticking to her forehead and neck. She was still in her chainmail and her sword was slung carelessly over her shoulder. Briefly, he lamented for whoever was unfortunate enough to be married to her in the future.

"My lady?" he asked, finally jumping down from the huge window ledge to fully look at her.

Arthur made a face. "I told you to just call me 'Arthur' when we're alone." Her bottom lip protruded comically, and Merlin was distracted for a bit.

"My _lady_ ," Merlin repeated, the corners of his lips twitching into an amused smile. Arthur bristled again and scowled. "Do you require my assistance today?"

"Call for Guinevere," she finally said.

Merlin frowned. "Guinevere? Why?" Arthur absolutely hated maidservants. Besides, Gwen was his friend; he worried Arthur might do something to her.

"I need her help tonight for the feast," she said with disgruntlement, her cheeks coloring in annoyance and perhaps some embarrassment.

"But, I always help you during feasts," he protested in confusion. Princess Arthur always arrived in expensive tunics and breeches and Merlin was tasked to help her with those. Terribly improper, seeing they were of opposite genders, but Merlin had yet to catch her in the middle of dressing up. He hoped that day would never come, _of course_.

"None of your business, _Mer_ lin," she spat. Her cheeks had reddened more. She left without waiting for his reply, and Merlin had no choice but to seek for sweet, kind Gwen.

When he relayed Princess Arthur's orders, Gwen had a knowing grin on her face. "You're not scared of her?" Merlin asked, accompanying the kind maidservant back into the castle.

Gwen softly laughed, her eyes sparkling under the night sky. Merlin admittedly had a crush on her during his first week in Camelot, but Gwen proved to be a good friend, and those childish feelings gradually went away. "The other maidservants just don't understand Arthur," she explained. "I doubt you do too."

"I don't exactly know what goes in that thick head of hers," he murmured under his breath.

She swatted his arm, half-amused and half-affronted, before shaking her head. "Being born a Pendragon is both a blessing and a curse, Merlin," she admonished as a sad smile bloomed on her face. "Princess Arthur, I believe, thinks it is more a curse for her. And she just… she needs a _friend_."

"She treats you like a friend?" he gasped, his eyes almost bulging out.

Gwen smiled and nodded her head. "She may be rough around the edges, always wearing that ridiculous armor of hers, but underneath all those layers, she is lonely, Merlin." Humor sparkled in her eyes when he made a face. "I think sometimes, the kingdom forgets that she is a _princess_ , much less a _girl_."

"Well, what do you expect? She doesn't dress and act like one."

Guinevere sighed and merely shook her head. She bid him goodbye, promising to accompany him later during the boring feast, and Merlin was left to help Gaius with some of his potions.

When the feast came, Merlin swallowed down his envy at how the nobles were able to merrily eat and drink the night away. He always had to stand at the sides, waiting to be beckoned to pour more wine or fetch more meat from the kitchens. It didn't help that the food made him unbearably hungry.

A hush fell when the huge, double doors opened. Merlin craned his neck and rolled his eyes as Prince Morgan confidently strutted inside, a handsome smirk splashed across his pale face. Some of the ladies were giggling amongst themselves, and Merlin had to thank the gods above he wasn't born a noble.

But then, when he saw the lady behind Prince Morgan, his jaw dropped. Princess Arthur, dressed in Pendragon colors, regally strolled inside. Her golden hair was left hanging behind her back, shiny and swaying and he almost imagined that they smelled of flowers.

His eyes strayed on her dress once more and was stupidly surprised to notice that she actually had womanly curves. The tunics and breeches she wore were always loose to give her more room to move. Tonight, however, Arthur looked every bit the princess she was.

Distractedly, his eyes strayed around and noticed that no one was surprised with her change of clothing.

"Princess Arthur dresses up on the late Queen Ygritte's nameday," Gwen suddenly said, sidling up beside him. She was smiling widely at Merlin, and the manservant felt his cheeks warming. "Isn't she lovely?"

Thankfully, Gwen didn't wait for a reply, because Merlin knew he would have made a fool out of himself anyway.

For the whole night, his eyes never strayed away from Princess Arthur. He might have caught her staring at him, too, but he wasn't entirely sure. He was too blinded by her golden hair to properly notice her eyes.

* * *

He knew something in him had changed ever since he saw her in that lovely dress.

Merlin was more hyperaware of the princess, even when she wore that ridiculous armor of hers. Often, he found himself lost in the Training Grounds, watching Princess Arthur fight against the other knights. She was mighty good with a sword; she truly deserved the title of being the best swordsman in the whole Five Kingdoms.

"Hey, idiot," Princess Arthur called one day when she sought for him in the Gaius' bedroom. The Court Physician was nowhere to be found, probably still in the village and tending to the sick.

"My lady," he said, a tad mockingly. He was unable to hide his smile when Arthur made a huge show of rolling her eyes. "To what do I owe this visit?"

Arthur heavily sighed and plopped down on the seat beside him. The seventeen-year-old princess frowned and peered up at his face. "I'm bored," she declared, petulantly placing her chin on top of her palm. "Let's go for a ride."

Merlin slightly scooted away, feeling his head go fuzzy at her close proximity. "I thought you were supposed to attend the council meeting today," he distractedly replied.

"Father kicked me out," she spat with a glare. "He said what they'll discuss today cannot be heard by a _child_." She bristled, shot up from her seat, and started to pace. "I am soon to be named as _Crown Princess_! Why can't he see that I will one day rule Camelot?"

"I'm sure King Uther means well," Merlin reassured.

"You agree with him?" she accused, betrayal in her eyes. "You think I am too faint-hearted to hear the brutal state of this kingdom?"

Merlin sighed. "Arthur," he softly appeased, "you are still a child, and I believe your father is just shielding you from this reality."

To his utmost surprise, angry tears brimmed in her ocean eyes. Merlin panicked, having no idea how to mollify a crying princess.

"If I were born a boy, he wouldn't think I'm too young," she spat, haphazardly wiping her tears away. "Sometimes, I think he looks at me and wishes he has a son instead."

Merlin found himself at loss of words, because he fervently believed this too.

Then, suddenly angrier, she rounded at Merlin and punched him on his arm. "And I am not a _child_! I am seventeen! I am soon to be named Crown Princess!" She angrily punched him again and Merlin glared. "You have no right to speak that way to your future queen!"

She stormed out of Gaius' bedchambers, leaving an irate Merlin behind.

* * *

Merlin thanked the stars above for Guinevere. Without her, he doubted he could even survive as Princess Arthur's manservant.

After their disastrous conversation in Gaius' bedchamber, the princess was extra hostile towards Merlin. Every time he delivered her meal, he always left with a bruise or two. Princess Arthur, after all, had a good aim. Merlin's forehead thought so, too.

She was in a volatile mood and despite apologizing for his behavior, the princess wouldn't listen. Sometimes, she was being extra harsh at him, leaving dirtier laundry and messier rooms in her wake. Merlin received the brunt of her bad mood and he one day thought the misery was already too much.

Thus, he sought for Gwen, who agreed to help him.

"Riding a horse will calm her down," she said, patting his arm apologetically. "Come. Let us invite her to ride away for the day."

Merlin witnessed the unlikely friendship between the princess and the maidservant, and he reckoned it was beautiful, albeit surprising. Gwen was really good with Arthur, and the younger of the two clung to Gwen as if she was the big sister she deserved. Princess Arthur kept on glaring at him, but after some whispered words from Guinevere, she was mollified and relented to ride a horse with the two of them.

They sneaked off during noon, knowing that the guards at the gate would question their odd ensemble. Princess Arthur wasn't allowed to get out of the kingdom without a knight, but Merlin knew she'd throw a fit if she had to ride with a stuck-up knight during their whole ride. Thus, Guinevere leant Arthur one of her peasant cloak and they were able to slip away.

He wasn't really good with a horse, but being Arthur's manservant required him to learn this skill. After asking Sir Leon to teach him how to ride one, Merlin finally got the hang of it and had enjoyed it immensely ever since. With his magic, he could communicate with his chosen horse, Arion, and they would both have a lovely ride. Every time he had a particularly stressful day, Merlin would seek his horse and they would trot around the outskirts of Camelot to melt the stress away.

Arthur's horse, fittingly named as Stormbringer due to his foul temper and stormy eyes, didn't like Merlin one bit and he always struggled to secure Arthur's saddle. Today, however, the horse could sense his mistress' bad mood and had stayed put until Merlin could fasten the saddle.

Before he or Gwen could mount their horses, Arthur and Stormbringer were already galloping away. Merlin hastily clambered up but missed a step and fell painfully on his backside.

"Don't worry," Gwen said with an amused smile. "I know where she'll be."

Scowling, Merlin mounted his horse – slowly, this time – and trotted behind Gwen until they arrived in huge field. Merlin's eyes widened at the sheer beauty of the place; there were colorful flowers and huge, towering trees. Arthur and Stormbringer were near a small, glittering lake. He and Gwen hastily trotted closer and tied their horses near Arthur's.

The princess was sprawled casually on the ground. Her golden hair was unbound and framed her pretty face like a halo. Merlin was momentarily blinded, before catching Gwen's eyes. The maidservant lifted an eyebrow, obviously amused with his staring. He madly blushed and plopped far away from Arthur. Gwen copied their actions and also lied down in between them.

For minutes, they let nature lull them to peace. Merlin actually fell into a small nap for a few minutes, before jerking awake when he heard water splashing. Glancing beside him, he saw that Gwen also fell asleep. Arthur, however, wasn't lying on the grass anymore.

Merlin slowly sat up and looked towards the lake. His breath hitched as his eyes landed on the princess. Arthur had her tunic rolled up to her elbows and her breeches rolled up to her knees. Showing too much skin, he knew that she was indecent, but Merlin couldn't bring himself to look away.

Princess Arthur was playfully splashing around. Her white tunic was already wet from her little adventure, and Merlin almost choked at how it snuggly hugged her bosom. Her long, golden hair swayed with the wind but what had caught his attention the most was her smile. It was wide and relaxed, and it lit up her features.

Merlin's hand slowly crept to his heart, willing for it to slow down.

"Oh, you're awake," Princess Arthur said as her glittering eyes settled on him. Her cheeks reddened as she hastily unrolled her tunic and breeches, before finally wading back to the lakeshore. It took all of his willpower not to stare at her chest, the tunic still deliciously clinging to her body.

"Feeling better?" he finally asked when he found his voice.

To his utmost surprise, Arthur flashed another pretty smile. "Loads," she said, sitting down on the patch of grass beside Gwen's slumbering form. Apparently in better spirits, she peered shyly at him, the smile still on her face. "Thank you for bringing Gwen. I know I've been atrocious to you for the past few days."

"Very atrocious." Merlin solemnly nodded.

"Don't push it, dollophead," Arthur snapped with a scowl, but her eyes were smiling. Merlin found himself grinning boyishly in return and his heart may or may not have sped a bit when she returned it with another pretty smile.

That day was the first time he realized that Princess Arthur was actually beautiful.

* * *

"Are you an idiot!" Merlin hissed as he pulled Arthur aside and hid them both behind a huge bush.

"What are you doing here?" the irate princess snapped, distractedly peering over the bush to look for any patrolling mercenaries.

Merlin yanked her back behind the bushes, prompting her to scowl. "Saving you from your idiocy, that's what."

"I don't need saving, thank you very much." Arthur pushed him and stood up. Merlin, who fell on his bottom, glared darkly at the stubborn princess. She was wearing her ridiculous tunic and breeches once more, but this time, they were the usual ones worn by servants.

Quickly scrambling onto his feet, Merlin sighed. When the Great Dragon spoke to him about his great destiny with Princess Arthur, he was seriously doubtful their lives could be so intertwined. Merlin vowed he would never listen to the dragon anymore and steer clear from Arthur as much as possible. His heart always gave little leaps when she was in the vicinity and comprehended it was a bad sign. He knew he must avoid her before things escalated and he was too far in to leave.

But then, when the news that Gwen was snatched by the mercenary Heignst and his men, mistaking her as the Princess Arthur, Merlin had no choice but to follow the princess. She had stupidly thought everything was her fault, when it was clearly Heignst's, and had defied her father when he loudly forbade her from saving her friend. Although he was angered by Uther's decision, he thought it was still stupid for Arthur to leave without any back-up.

"Are you coming or not?" She was looking over her shoulder with a glare and Merlin, knowing he had no other choice, quickly trailed behind the princess.

As they sneaked inside the dilapidated castle, Merlin had to admit that Arthur really did not need any saving. In fact, without her, Merlin doubted they would even sneak past the guards. Her sword slashed to and fro, and the guards fell like dead flies on the field, before they finally found themselves inside a huge revel with a cage in the middle.

"Gwen!" Arthur cried, but Merlin latched onto her wrist before she could lunge forward.

Mustering the darkest glare she could, she pushed Merlin away. He was cursed with clumsy feet and before he could steady himself once more, Arthur was already inside the cage and battling a Wildereen.

Merlin cursed his stubborn mistress and summoned his magic. The whole castle shook with great force and the Wildereen, frightened by the sudden movement, scuttled back into its cave. Merlin blasted off Heignst's men with a huge swipe of his hand. He then ran down to the cage and pulled it open, ushering Gwen and Arthur until they were out of the crumbling castle.

"What the hell happened there?" Arthur demanded, her breathing loud and erratic. Merlin thought Uther would cringe at her foul mouth.

"I don't know," he lied through his teeth. Gwen, who knew about his magic ever since the first day he arrived, gave him a knowing glance.

They all decided to rest for the night, because it was too dark to venture around the forests. While Princess Arthur slumbered on her cot, Merlin strode forward and sat beside a solemn Gwen.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. Merlin stared at her in surprise. "It's… it's my fault Arthur was brought in this situation."

Unable to help himself, Merlin snorted. "Funny," he said, "because she blamed _herself_ for your misfortune." Despite her guilt, Gwen smiled. "She looks up to you, Gwen. I think you should know that."

"I am but a servant."

"But for her, you're her _friend_ ," Merlin insisted. Gwen prettily smiled as happy tears brimmed in her eyes. "More of a big sister, really. You should have seen her face when Uther refused to order to rescue you."

Gwen winced. "We're going to be in trouble when we get back to Camelot, aren't we?"

Merlin widely grinned. "Big, _big_ trouble, Guinevere."

* * *

Today was Princess Arthur's eighteenth birthday and Uther finally acknowledged her as his successor to the throne. Merlin thought she was being ridiculous for even doubting that she would be Crown Princess today, but Arthur pointed out she had actually felt Prince Morgan would be Uther's successor instead.

Merlin, secretly fearing that this might also be the case today, had nothing in reply.

As the whole kingdom celebrated for their new Crown Princess, Merlin was once again forced to watch at the sidelines and serve the guests. Princess Arthur was dressed in Pendragon colors, her vibrant dress rich with embellishments and intricate designs. Arthur was every bit the Crown Princess this kingdom deserved, and Merlin could not help but stare.

Gwen was giving him annoying looks, too. One time, she even caught him gawking a bit when Arthur prettily laughed at something Prince Morgan said.

"What's the matter, Merlin?" Gwen asked, eyes glinting mischievously. Merlin's cheeks flooded with blood and shot her a dark glare.

Predictably, Arthur started receiving marriage proposals after her birthday. One particular royal of Rheghed, a Prince Hector, had arrived the very next day and asked for the princess' hand. Merlin could not understand the panic in his heart, but it somehow gave him some peace when Arthur steadfastly ignored Prince Hector's advances.

In fact, Merlin thought Crown Princess Arthur was being extra spiteful. The prince once commented of Arthur's strange clothes, reckoning that future queens must dress properly and such. Uther pleaded Arthur to at least wear a dress when having dinner with him, Morgan, and Hector, but Arthur stubbornly refused.

"He's a _bore_ ," Princess Arthur lamented one time in their little field. She had her head on Gwen's lap, and the older woman apologetically patted her cheek. "All he talks about is his accomplishments." An unladylike snort escaped from her lips, much to Merlin's amusement. "Gods, you should have seen him with a _sword_. He's worse than you, Merlin! And that's saying something."

"Thanks, Arthur," Merlin drawled with an eye roll.

Prince Hector stayed for a few more days, and Arthur was already at her wit's end. She demanded Uther to let Hector leave, which wasn't the wisest decision. Now, Uther had banned her from taking Stormbringer out for a ride and he would only allow her if she started wearing dresses.

For the first few days, Arthur stubbornly stayed in her room. But, by the third day, she missed riding around, and finally relented by dinner that night. Merlin was torn between berating his heart for speeding up at the sight of Princess Arthur in a lovely dress and strangling Prince Hector for lewdly staring at the princess.

Merlin secretly thought it would be better if Arthur started wearing more dresses. But of course, the princess did not need to know that. Merlin already predicted he'd be thrown in the stocks for even voicing out his opinion.

On the eve of Prince Hector's departure, Arthur was already pressured to have an answer to his proposal. King Uther thankfully thought about his daughter's happiness above all else and refused to decide for her, despite Prince Hector's pleas.

During dinner that night, Princess Arthur opted to eat in her bedchambers alone. Merlin, of course, was tasked to bring her meal to her room.

"Is Hector still pestering you?" she greeted when he came into her room, precariously balancing the tray of food.

Once he settled the tray on her table, he grimaced. "I was threatened to be thrown to the stocks," he revealed. He glared when Arthur smirked at his misfortune.

"And what did you tell him?"

"That I wasn't really scared of his threat because I get that from you daily."

A lovely laugh escaped from the princess' lips. "Sometimes, I wonder if you're very brave or just plain stupid, _Mer_ lin," she replied, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "It's a miracle you have not been banished from Camelot yet for speaking out of turn."

"Why can't you just tell him you don't like to marry him?" he asked, inviting himself to sit on one of her plush chairs.

"It's not easy," she replied, throwing a withering glare at his direction. "You won't understand."

"Why not? You don't like to marry him, so you say no. It is _terribly_ easy, Arthur."

"For you yes, but you're not the one wearing a crown, Merlin." She blew a frustrated sigh and leaned against the back of her chair. "You will never understand." Her hair curtained her face, hiding her emotions from him. "As the Crown Princess, I am expected to find a strategic husband."

Nerves clotted in his throat, but Merlin still had no words to answer her.

"I think I'll be a terrible wife," she finally confessed, followed by a soft, sad chuckle.

"You'll be a wonderful queen," he supplemented.

Princess Arthur gave him one of her rare, genuine smiles. "Thank you, Merlin," she said. "That is most kind of you."

"It is true, you know."

Her cheeks colored a little, but she rolled her eyes. "Prince Hector begs to differ." She said his name with venom, and Merlin slightly flinched. "He said that he'd like to be my king to help me once I'm on the throne. A queen without a king in this beautiful kingdom will be _disastrous_ , he said. He sounds as if marrying him is a way of _saving_ me."

"But you don't need any saving," he reminded, her words when they rescued Gwen echoing in his ears.

" _Exactly_!" she cried. Merlin was unable to hide a smile. "He told me all I will be tasked to do is to bear an heir for Camelot and be a good _wife_."

His lips stretched wider into a grin. "How dare he speaks about the future Queen of Camelot like that!" he replied.

" _I know_!" Arthur was instantly on her feet.

Merlin instinctively stood up from his seat. "Where are you going?" he asked, watching as Arthur dashed towards her door.

"I have a proposal to reject," she called over her shoulders. Merlin rolled his eyes once more, predicting that King Uther would have a fit if Arthur barged into the Great Hall unannounced.

Strangely, though, he was unable to stop a smile from growing on his face.

* * *

"Merlin, do you promise to be honest with me?"

The manservant instantly felt nervous as he suspiciously eyed Gwen. His friend's face did not betray any emotions however, and Merlin was forced to stiffly nod his head in reply.

Gwen leaned closer as a smile bloomed on her face. "Do you like Arthur?"

Her question came as a shock and Merlin backpedaled. His cheeks warmed instantly and he refused to meet Gwen's searching gaze. "W-whatever do you mean?" he stuttered.

The maidservant sighed and stood up from the bench. Merlin desperately wished Gaius would arrive back so that he could make stupid excuses and leave Gwen without answering her question at all.

Gwen then suddenly crouched at his side and peered at his red face. "As her unofficial big sister, I need to know," she said with a smile. Merlin pursed his lips and hesitatingly met her eyes, but Gwen didn't need to hear any words from him to know his answer. "Oh, Merlin, you are hopeless."

" _Nothing_ could ever happen between us," he grounded out, now scowling at Gwen's question and their situation.

His friend gingerly held both of his cheeks and forced him to look back at her. "I think it is lovely," she confessed. "No matter the situation."

"No, Gwen, you don't understand." He pulled away from her hands and stood up from the bench. "This isn't about me being a servant and her being a princess… well, I mean yes, that too. But this is more about me being a _sorcerer_." He wildly looked back at Gwen as their situation finally sank in.

Merlin had tried desperately to quash these ridiculous feelings away. It wasn't _right_. Although Arthur already treated him as a friend, Merlin knew that even that was forbidden. If Uther got wind of their current relationship right now, Merlin doubted he would be the only one punished.

"Arthur isn't like Uther."

"You don't know that," Merlin bitterly spat. "I hear Arthur talk sometimes… how she's scared of magic and the evil it brings."

"She doesn't understand magic, Merlin."

"Which is why this" – he angrily pointed at his chest – "is _ridiculous_. I know you've known about my feelings for a while now, Gwen, but I wanted you to at least stop me from spiraling into that direction!"

Gwen looked annoyed by his tirade. "And you're getting angry with me?" she asked, crossing her arms against her chest. Merlin had the decency to look a little shamefaced for his attitude. "Arthur may still be scared of magic, but you weren't there with her when she watched those poor, unfortunate people killed for something they could not control."

Merlin's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

The annoyance completely left her face and she sadly smiled. "Arthur always cried when a suspected sorcerer is killed in the town's square," she continued. "She told me that she knew magic is evil, but so does killing. She never understood why her father opted to behead them in public or burn them at a stake."

His breath hitched as he blindly plopped back on the bench. Merlin feared the day when Arthur would discover he was a person of magic. He feared that like Uther, Arthur would immediately sentence him to death for having something he was born with. But to hear those words from Gwen, _well_ , he wasn't quite sure anymore.

"Why are you even telling me this?" he said, his voice sounding strangely soft and surreal. "Nothing will ever change."

"Because," Gwen replied, sitting down beside him once more, "Arthur is happiest when she's with you."

His cheeks reddened once more. "That's a huge load of rubbish, Gwen."

The maidservant sighed and shook her head. "Oh, Merlin, you are _hopeless_ ," she repeated.

* * *

Arthur was enchanted by a damnable spell and the only thing Merlin could think of was to ask help from Kilgharrah.

" _A kiss from her true love, and the spell will be broken."_

Of course, the logical thing to do was to try to see if _he_ could break the spell. But then again, Merlin refused to believe he was Arthur's one, true love.

He had relayed this information to Gwen, and stupid, _stupid_ Gwen had a stupid, _stupid_ grin on her face. Merlin didn't even bother protesting when she blatantly suggested he kissed Arthur to break the spell. HA! Even hearing it from another person sounded ridiculous to him.

But Merlin was slowly growing desperate as he watched Arthur hopelessly swept off her feet. King Olaf's son, Lord Victor, was a brat and a brute. If Arthur were in her right state of mind, she wouldn't even glance his way. Merlin even reckoned Prince Hector was better than this ridiculous beast.

Of course, King Olaf was ecstatic his son was being noticed by the Crown Princess of Camelot. Merlin observed that King Uther wasn't quite thrilled with the sudden talks of marriage between their children. The sorcerer understood the king's sentiments; King Olaf and his son weren't exactly the best people for their kingdom. But of course, Uther had no choice if it meant Arthur would be happy.

Merlin could not simply accept this madness. Which was why he finally found himself bursting into Arthur's bedchambers one night. The princess was getting ready for bed, absolutely beside herself with happiness that she would be travelling with King Olaf and Lord Victor back to their kingdom for a visit.

"You shouldn't go," Merlin protested, hating the dreamy, vacant look on Arthur's face.

"Silly, Merlin," she said, releasing a giggling that wasn't her at all. "Of course I should! It is customary for the bride to visit her future husband's kingdom, you know." She giggled behind her hand once more and shyly looked downward. "I'm going to get married soon."

Merlin finally decided to brush his doubts away. He stomped closer Arthur, who at least looked at him curiously. "Is something the matter, Merlin?" she asked. "Does my dear Victor need me?"

Anger flashed in his eyes and he may have yanked her onto her feet a little roughly. Arthur yelped in surprise and tried to push him away, but Merlin's lips were already pressed against hers.

All the anger melted away. All the feelings he had desperately buried deep down in his heart came back with a vengeance. Her lips were soft with his; _gods_ , she was soft against him and his nose was invaded with the flowery scent that was definitely Arthur.

The kiss was broken quickly, and Merlin was a little sorry it was over too soon. One look at Arthur's face, however, made his heart quicken once more. Clearly, the spell was broken and it dawned on him that he was, without any doubt, Arthur's one, true love.

A stupid grin bloomed on his face as Arthur's eyes flashed. Without any warning, she slapped him soundly across his face.

"What was that for?" he cried, cradling his smarting cheek.

He had never seen Arthur's face so red before. "What was _that_ for?" she demanded in a shriek, looking frazzled and confused. Her fingers gingerly pressed against her lips, and Merlin was reminded once more of what they felt like.

Merlin wanted to tell her he had broken a bloody love spell, but then Arthur would demand _how_ he did it. He wasn't sure if Arthur would take the news that he was her true love quite well.

Thus, he hastily excused himself and ran away.

The next day, King Olaf and a very confused Lord Victor journeyed back to their kingdom. Merlin knew Gwen would seek out for him immediately and he didn't bother running away from her when she finally did.

"The love spell was broken," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Yes," was his curt reply.

A huge grin appeared on her lovely face. " _You're_ Arthur's true love."

Merlin scowled and looked away. "This doesn't change anything, Gwen," he spat back.

He braced for Gwen's loud protests, but when none came, Merlin curiously looked at her direction.

He jolted in surprise to see a red faced Arthur standing in front of him. Merlin desperately swiveled around and prayed it was nosy Gwen with him instead. Alas, the maidservant was nowhere to be found.

Princess Arthur cleared her throat and Merlin had no choice but to look back at her. "That night never happened," she merely said before turning around and stalking away from him.

His heart gave a painful lurch at her retreating back. His right hand clutched his chest as he sadly sighed. "That night never happened," he echoed as soon as Arthur was out of earshot.

* * *

Merlin fell on the grass in shock. Eyes widening, he looked up at Arthur. The princess was a mess; fighting off the Great Dragon had tired her so. But the expression on her face… _gods_. Merlin prayed fervently that she was still unconscious when he finally tamed Kilgharrah as the last dragonlord.

"Y-You!" she sputtered, cheeks reddening with a mixture of rage and betrayal. Merlin's heart fell to his stomach, also seeing a hint of fear in her eyes.

She finally found out.

"I-I saw you," she said, angry tears filling her eyes. "With the dragon!"

Merlin slowly lifted his hands to appease her and took a deep, shaky breath. "Anybody can talk to the dragon, Arthur," he slowly said.

Enraged, Arthur drew out her sword and pointed it at Merlin's neck. The manservant held his breath, but his gaze never broke away. It pained him to see that there was betrayal in Arthur's eyes.

"I saw your eyes, _Mer_ lin," she growled. "They turned… they turned _gold_."

Merlin slumped down in defeat, knowing it was futile to defend himself. Arthur finally _found_ out. He had feared this day would come, but he never anticipated it would come this soon.

"Please, _please_ , tell me I was merely imagining things." She was pleading desperately, her tears steadily streaming down her face. "Please, _Merlin_ , please tell me I was wrong."

Her sword hand was shaking and Merlin gingerly placed his bigger hand on top of hers. He swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. "I'm sorry, Arthur," he whispered.

Anguished sobs tore out from her lips. Arthur hastily threw her sword away and ran back to the castle.

And Merlin… Merlin helplessly watched her go.

* * *

 **A/N: End of Part I! Drop a review!**

 **Again, I will post Part II tomorrow.**

 **With love,  
WickedlyAwesome**


	2. Part II

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin. Sigh.**

* * *

 **A/N: Hello, as promised, here's Part II!**

 **WARNING:** **Smuuuuuuuuut. This is rated M for a reason lol. You've been warned.**

* * *

 **Part II**

* * *

It had been a week ever since Arthur discovered Merlin's secret, and yet, nothing had happened.

Merlin already prepared himself in case knights suddenly barged into Gaius' bedchambers and dragged him to the dungeons. He already told Gaius and Gwen of his magic reveal. Predictably, Gaius was furious with his carelessness, but Merlin hadn't expected when the kind, old Court Physician pulled him into a hug and held him like it was their last day together. Gwen was a mess and Merlin tried to console her, telling her that everything would be soon all right.

While they waited for the inevitable day of judgment, Merlin excused himself from working as Arthur's manservant. Merlin was actually relieved Arthur hadn't called for him yet. After that disastrous day, he had no idea how to act anymore. The memory of her hurt and betrayed face was forever etched in his mind. Merlin was too shamefaced to face Arthur once more.

He had continued to avoid her for another week, and Merlin actually thought Arthur had forgotten him already. Merlin once asked Gwen if Arthur ever mentioned his name, but the maidservant would only shake her head.

Merlin was slowly adapting to his new job as the Court Physician's apprentice when Arthur one day came barging inside Gaius' bedchambers. The said owner of the room was away in Ealdor to treat those who were ailing, so the position as the Court Physician was temporarily bestowed upon him.

The first thing he thought when Arthur came in was to run. But seeing that she was fully blocking the door, Merlin had nowhere else to go. He was sorely tempted to use his magic to blast her away, but he didn't want to hurt her.

The second thing he thought was that he was going to die. Merlin held his breath and waited for a royal decree from King Uther, stating of his treachery and his impending death. _Gods_ , he even anticipated the arrival of the knights. But when neither of these happened, Merlin grew very confused.

"W-what are you doing here?" he asked, daring to break the uncomfortable silence at first.

He flinched as anger flashed on Arthur's face. The Crown Princess stomped closer until she was merely a few inches away from him. "Y-you," she stuttered, cheeks reddening in pure, unadulterated anger. " _How_ dare you?"

Merlin wasn't sure what she was pertaining to, but he still managed to whisper a soft, "I'm sorry."

"Blast it all, you should be!" she cried. Angry tears were now pouring down from her blue eyes, and Merlin was tempted to brush them away. He curled his hands into fist instead, lest he'd provoke Arthur more. He noted she was swordless today, though, but Merlin didn't want to become too complacent.

"Arthur," he croaked. "I'm sorry, I really am. But… but I can't apologize for being who I am." He took a deep, shuddering breath and looked at her imploringly. "T-this is who I am. A _sorcerer_." Arthur flinched, but Merlin couldn't seem to stop. "I have magic."

He waited with bated breath, waited for Arthur to blow up. To his surprise, Arthur lunged forward and hit him against his chest. Merlin flinched; she could really give a mean punch if she put her thought in it.

"I should report you to my father," she started, conflicting emotions dancing through her face. "I should order them to _kill_ you." Her voice shook at the last sentence and Merlin dared to take a step closer to her. "I know what to do, Merlin. But… but… _gods_ , you're making this difficult."

His heart jumped to his throat as he took another slow step forward. "You're not your father, Arthur," Merlin whispered.

Anger flashed in her eyes and she pushed him away. "Stop it!" she cried. "You're… you're making me _confused_." She openly cried, her huge, ocean eyes staring at him earnestly. "I grew up believing magic was evil, Merlin. I grew up believing that magic in its wake is destruction and turmoil and then… and then… _you_ happened and I…" Her face crumpled as she stumbled a few steps back. "How could you do this to me?"

"I cannot control what I was born with, Arthur."

"How can you not be evil?" she demanded, stepping forward and hitting him on his chest. "How can you be kind and brilliant and good?" She hit him on the chest once more. "How can you not be everything that I've believed in?"

Merlin finally relented and lifted his thumb to brush her tears away. Arthur flinched, but thankfully didn't shy away from his touch. "Because, Arthur," he started, "magic itself isn't evil. It isn't good, either. Only the bearer of this gift has the capacity to choose what to do with it, whether for the good or evil."

All the anger seemed to leave Arthur's system. "The thought of you banished away from this kingdom or… or burned at the pyre or beheaded, I - " Her breath hitched as she slumped forward, her forehead almost pressed against his cheek. "I couldn't… I couldn't _bear_ thinking about those because my heart hurts. It hurts _so_ bad, and try as I might, I couldn't stop it."

His heart soared with her words. Without thinking, he yanked her forward until she was completely wrapped in his arms. His mind might have flown out of the window when he lowered his face and kissed her once more. It still made him wonder why Arthur didn't slap him away this time.

* * *

They never talked about the kiss again, but Merlin knew that something had changed in their relationship. They never really talked about his magic either, and although it wasn't the most ideal for Merlin, he reluctantly accepted their unspoken truce. After all, it didn't seem like Arthur would report him to her father anymore.

Arthur was predictably hurt that Gwen knew about Merlin's secret, too. Of course, she then understood it was for Merlin's protection.

Soon, their lives slowly went back to normal. Arthur was still wary of his magic, but she didn't push him away anymore.

Today, he, Arthur, and Gwen were lazily lounging near the lakeshore of their beloved field. Arthur's tutors were hounding her with papers and plans and laws, and she knew she had to get away. She brought Merlin and Gwen with her to keep her company.

"When did you discover you have magic?" Gwen curiously asked. Beside him, Merlin felt Arthur stiffen, before curiously peering at him and waiting for his answer.

Embarrassed with their attention, Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. "My very first memory as a child is of magic," he confessed. "My three-year-old self was devastated over a ruined toy sword, and before my eyes, it slowly repaired itself. That was when I knew I was special." He surreptitiously glanced at Arthur to see if she was disgusted of him. When he found merely mild curiosity on her face, Merlin slightly relaxed. "My mother said before I crawled, I was already able to do magic."

"Magic can be learned, right?" It was Arthur who asked him this time, much to Merlin's surprise.

"Well, yes," Merlin slowly answered. "But you need an aid to do so like a staff or a wand. Others, though, like _me_ – we were born with it. It courses in our very veins, just as our blood does."

Arthur blew out a huge sigh. "So, you cannot remove it at all?"

Merlin's eyes widened. He imagined his life without his magic and instantly felt dreadful. Despite constantly living in fear of getting discovered, he would never wish his magic away. "There are… well, there are methods," he reluctantly replied. Arthur's eyes lit up, but Merlin slowly shook his head. "These methods are _atrocious_. Think of it as torturing the magic out of you until it… it _dies_. It will feel like… like you've lost your sense of sight or hearing, or you've lost a limb to walk or hold."

"Magic isn't too bad, my lady," Gwen gingerly replied, placing a gentle hand on top of Arthur's.

"I know," the princess begrudgingly admitted. "I just… I still can't wrap my head around this sudden information."

"At least there won't be building of stakes for my sake, yes?" he cajoled. Belatedly, he wondered if it was too early to joke about this with the princess.

To his relief, Princess Arthur made a huge show of rolling her eyes. "Try being an idiot and I might just do that," she sneered.

Gwen softly laughed whilst Merlin glared. At least, he thought, some things never changed.

As the sun slowly made its descent from the sky, the group agreed it was time to go. Gwen attended to the horses first as Merlin packed the remnants of their small picnic.

"Do you think you'll get caught one day, Merlin?"

His eyes widened a little with Arthur's question, but she looked genuinely curious. Shooting a brief look at their oblivious friend, Merlin flashed her a wry smile. "Constantly, my lady."

Arthur expelled a deep sigh. "I thought as much," she said, tucking a golden curl behind her ear. "I think you're an idiot for even thinking you can build a life here in Camelot, the least safe place for a person like you."

Feeling rather bold, he leaned his face closer to the princess and flashed a handsome smile. "Then, we'd never meet," he stated matter-of-factly. "Pity, isn't it?"

Her cheeks turned into a lovely shade of red, before scowling and pushing him away. Merlin merely laughed and continued cleaning their mess.

Before they could leave, Merlin conjured a small daisy out of thin air. Gwen's eyes were delighted as Merlin offered her the flower. Upon seeing Arthur's look, Merlin grinned and conjured another daisy. Instead of merely handing it towards the princess, he courageously took a step forward and tuck it behind her ear.

"A flower fit for a beautiful lady," he declared with a huge grin. Gwen giggled behind her hand while Arthur glared. Merlin's grin was still in place when he indulged himself by brushing the back of his finger against her smooth cheek before retrieving it away. Arthur's cheeks flooded with color once more, before she kicked him on his shin and strode away.

* * *

"What happened to you?" Gwen gasped as Merlin strolled inside Gaius' bedchambers. The said Court Physician looked up from the potion he was brewing and frowned at his ward's appearance.

"Arthur happened," Merlin replied, grimacing. He gingerly touched the forming bruise around his right eye and hissed in pain.

Gwen narrowed her eyes, promptly ushering Merlin to sit on the bench. She then rummaged for a healing ointment from Gaius' cabinets, then went back to Merlin. "What did you do?" She started to gently dab the soothing balm around his bruise.

"I just asked her what her real name was," he snapped.

Gaius paused his stirring and tutted. The maidservant sighed and purposively dabbed on his bruise none-too-gently.

"Ow!" Merlin lightly glared at an unamused Gwen, but she wasn't fazed.

"Serves you right for even _daring_ to ask her," she admonished.

"I was admittedly curious, all right?" Merlin peered at both his mentor and his friend, then frowned. "Wait… you _both_ know what her real name is?"

The old physician lifted an eyebrow. "Of course," he replied. "I have nursed her back to health one too many times, after all."

Gaius' reasoning, he understood, but Gwen? "You knew?" he accused with a wagging finger. Gwen batted his finger away and glared. "I'm her friend, too! Why doesn't she tell me?"

The maidservant sighed and looked him directly in the eye. "You should understand that Arthur isn't… _too fond_ of her given name." A small, exasperated smile appeared on her face. "I, for one, think it is lovely, isn't it Gaius?"

"Very lovely," the old man concurred.

"But Arthur doesn't like it at all," Gwen continued. "She thinks it's too, for lack of a better word, _girly_ for her."

Merlin snorted, imagining a 'girly' name for such a rough girl. His body still ached at the memory of her punches or kicks. Sometimes, he forgot that Arthur was actually a girl, what with her display of tremendous physical strength that even rivalled the mightiest knights of Camelot.

Still, he had thought, they'd been friends for quite a while already. Merlin's cheeks reddened at the memory of their two shared kisses – _perhaps_ , they already were something more. Which was why he stupidly thought he already had the right to know what her real name was. After all, he had been annoyingly curious about it for _ages_.

"She'll tell you soon, I promise," Gwen said with a smile, noting the frown on his face. "I didn't ask her about it, you know. She just randomly told me when I least expected it."

"You should hold that tongue of yours lest you become the brunt of our lovely princess' wrath," Gaius warned him, a fond smile growing on his face.

Merlin sighed and broodingly let Gwen finish dabbing the ointment around his swelling eye. Patience wasn't really his best virtue, but of course, he really did not have a choice regarding this matter.

* * *

It took her a few more weeks before she finally told him her real name.

It was fairly an ordinary day. Merlin was feeling particularly lazy from his chores. Winter had long settled in Camelot, and Merlin, too cold from the snow and the biting wind, wanted nothing to do but wrap himself around a blanket and huddle close to a roaring fire.

But then, of course, as the manservant of the beloved Crown Princess of Camelot, he did not have the luxury to stay put. Despite the weather, Arthur was still rigorous. She continued training with the knights, learning more about the politics and economy of Camelot, and found the time to bring Stormbringer out for a ride. For the latter part, Arthur always required Merlin to come with her, all his protests about the cold falling into deaf ears.

She finally told him about her true name in that secret little field they had both came to love. Gwen hadn't accompanied them today since she fell ill from the cold and needed to rest. Merlin wished he could fall ill too, just so he had an excuse to ditch work. Sadly, though, his resistance was magnificent; Gaius once pointed out that as a sorcerer, Merlin would be less susceptible to things that usually affected a mere human.

Despite the snow, Arthur forced Merlin to warm the blanket they were lounging on to keep the cold and wetness away. Secretly, Merlin felt a little happy that Arthur did not flinch anymore when he did some few tricks hither thither. It made him especially happy that she sometimes requested him to do something _with magic_.

"I was named Arianna by my mother, you know."

Her admission came as a huge surprise; Merlin wasn't expecting it at all. They were talking about something he had forgotten, because as soon as she confessed her real name, it was all he could think about.

He mulled over her name, trying to associate the name and this princess. And he thought, with a smile, that it absolutely suited her.

Arthur's cheeks were reddened with embarrassment and annoyance. "I don't know why I told you that," she petulantly muttered, crossing her arms against her chest.

His smile grew. "I think it suits you."

The princess made a face. "It's too _girly_ ," she protested. "I like 'Arthur' more. The name makes me feel like I'm a prince ready to save the day or… or… a mighty king able to unite the lands of all Five Kingdoms."

"Arianna suits you _more_ ," he insisted. "It, well, it makes you sound like a strong princess able to hold a sword against the enemy or the best queen Camelot had ever seen."

Her cheeks reddened more as she swatted his arm in annoyance. Unfazed, Merlin laughed and leaned closer to the princess. "That's something an 'Arianna' will do too, to be honest," he joked.

"Ergh, I already regret telling you!" Arthur scowled and turned away from him. "Gwen wasn't insufferable when I finally told her about my real name."

Merlin solemnly placed a hand against his heart, but the smile on his face was still broad and wide. "Don't worry, Princess Arianna, your secret is safe with me."

"Don't call me that!" she exclaimed with a gasp. Merlin might have said it a little too fondly, but he was thankful Arthur was too embarrassed to hear it in his voice.

"Forgive me, Lady Arianna, I don't mean to offend," he continued, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

Arthur scowled and swatted him on the arm again, this time with a lot of force that made him topple back on the blanket. Merlin was hysterically laughing as he watched the princess stomp toward Stormbringer. " _Mer_ lin, you idiot!" she exclaimed, mounting onto her horse and already galloping away.

* * *

When handsome and kind Prince Nathan of Nemeth came to the kingdom, demanding King Uther for the lands he had usurped from their kingdom, Merlin already knew that something big was about to happen. Uther didn't disappoint when he revealed that night that Prince Nathan was Princess Arthur's new betrothed.

The prince stayed for a few more days to get to know his future bride. Merlin had watched from the sidelines at how heartily Arthur laughed or how her eyes sparkled every time Nathan walked into the room. When he was ordered to accompany them for a picnic one day, he discovered that Prince Nathan didn't mind Arthur's strange quirks. In fact, the prince confessed he found her quite endearing, what with her tunics and breeches and swords. The lovely blush that spread on Arthur's cheeks was enough for Merlin to understand that this charming prince finally swept her off her feet.

Merlin felt stupid for thinking that there was something _more_ in his relationship with Arthur. Ever since she told him about her true name, he actually felt quite special. But then, of course, he was fooling himself. He was neither a prince nor charming – how could he dare to even hope he would one day steal the princess' heart?

Thus, to nurse his broken heart, Merlin tried as much as he could to avoid the couple. He pleaded desperately to Gwen to stand in for him. He thanked the gods above for Guinevere, because she understood what he was going through, and agreed to take his stead.

Merlin already congratulated himself for not crossing paths with Arthur anymore. He offered to do as many chores as Gaius' permitted him to, if only he could distract himself. Merlin had buried himself under all the strenuous chores of a manservant, and for a while, he forgot about Arthur and Nathan.

But one night, a knight came by and escorted him into Arthur's bedchambers. Merlin's head was a jumbled mess and he tried to desperately concoct an excuse not to see her. It was too late, however, when the knight shoved him inside and left him frozen near the door.

He chanced a glance at Arthur and felt his cheeks redden. She was already in her nightclothes.

"You've been avoiding me."

Merlin took a step back, ready to bolt out of the room, and murmured, "Forgive me, my lady."

He heard her pattering footsteps, growing closer and closer, and Merlin's heart thudded at her close proximity.

"Look at me when I talk to you, Merlin," she ordered.

Taking a deep, staggering breath, he gazed at her form with hesitation. Merlin willed his eyes not to roam all over her body, to memorize each and every part of her as if he it was his last chance. But then again, maybe it was. Prince Nathan already planned to return to Nemeth with Arthur to introduce her to his father and his people. If Arthur accompanied him, Merlin knew he had already lost.

His eyes, however, had no choice but to examine her face. To his surprise, Arthur looked tired and worn. There were dark bags under her eyes and her lovely lips were pressed thinly together. Her ocean eyes were bright and glassy, and Merlin fancied himself into thinking that she may have been crying before he arrived. He brushed off that ridiculous thought immediately. He had seen her with Nathan, and the joy in her was unmistakable.

"You have to understand that I have a duty to my people."

His heart clenched at her words because he understood. Truly, he did. "Of course, my lady," he deadpanned.

"Stop that!" she cried, stepping forward to hit him squarely on his chest. "Stop… stop calling me that!"

His hand crept up to his chest to massage the smarting spot, a little confused. "My lady?" he echoed.

Anger flashed in her eyes as a snarl tore away from her lips. "I was _never_ a lady to you, Merlin. _Never_!"

It was the truth, he wryly thought. She had always been Arthur to him – or _Arianna_ , as what he fondly called her in his mind during his times of solitude. Sometimes, Merlin forgot that a crown sat on top of her head and a kingdom on her shoulder. Sometimes, Merlin forgot that she was leagues away from him. Sometimes, Merlin simply forgot his place.

He was blinded by her golden hair and shiny sword. His nose was always filled the flowery fragrance that was unmistakably her. All he could hear was her lovely laughter. His fingers tingled with the memory of her soft skin. And _gods_ , whenever he was alone in his small, dark room, he would relieve the taste of her lips again and again.

She was… she was _everywhere_. Merlin knew it was too late to turn away from his feelings for her and he was stupid, _so stupid_ , for letting his heart go this far.

His breath hitched when she started to cry. Merlin was tempted to reach out, to brush those tears away, and pull her into his arms. "What…" he started, voice hoarse with a myriad of emotions. "What do you want me to do, Arthur?"

Arthur lunged into him in a flash. Merlin stumbled backward and instinctively wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. Before his mind could fully register it, she was kissing him, quite fervently, and Merlin's mind started to shut down. She smelled of flowers and spring, and she felt so soft against him. She tasted of tart and tears… and gods help him, he wanted more.

His mind immediately snapped back into reality and pushed her away. Hurt flashed in her eyes and Merlin was forced to look away.

"You're betrothed," he simply reminded.

"I know."

Merlin blew a frustrated breath and completely untangled himself from her arms. "This isn't right, Arthur," he murmured. "I'm going back to my room. Good night, my lady."

Arthur made an irritated sound at the back of her throat and latched onto his wrist. "What do _you_ want, Merlin?" she rasped out, her tone almost begging. "Please tell me what you want."

' _You_ ,' he immediately thought. _'All of you.'_ But of course, he could not say that aloud.

The princess might have seen something in his eyes because she was suddenly smiling fondly, almost _lovingly_ , and Merlin's heart hurt. She moved closer and placed a gentle hand against his cheek. Merlin tightly closed his eyes, marveling at the feel of her hand.

"Arthur…"

"Merlin, I - "

" _Don't_ ," he hissed, recognizing the expression in her eyes. "Don't you _dare_ say it, because nothing will change. We" – he gestured between them – "cannot change anything."

Arthur's eyes hardened and she determinedly lifted her chin. Without any warning, she placed a kiss on his lips again. And again and again. Merlin begged her to stop.

"If you continue doing this, I don't think I'll be able to stop," he warned, delicious warmth already pooling around his stomach at the feel of her lips against his.

Her eyes were stormy as she looked at him squarely in the eyes. "Then don't," was her simple order.

Something in him snapped as he finally fervently returned her kisses. A loud voice in his mind, sounding suspiciously like Kilgharrah, told him to stop this immediately, to stop this madness, but Merlin _couldn't_.

With frenzied hands and feverish kisses, Merlin finally pressed her against the wall. He pulled away to look deep in her eyes, a warning in his gaze. He was breathing deep and erratic, already feeling the growing arousal in his trousers. "Please tell me to stop," he begged once more, but stubborn, wonderful Arthur resolutely shook her head.

He trailed kisses down her jaw and the creamy expanse of her neck, nipping and biting and sucking until her breath hitched. Arthur mewled and angled her head to give him more skin to touch. "Please tell me to stop," he begged, as he tugged her nightgown until it was a messy heap on the floor. He groaned at the sight of her naked body, and Arthur was smiling at him. "Please."

"No," she said, holding onto his hand and directing it to her breast. Merlin gently brushed a thumb against her nipple and she jerked in surprise, her eyes widened at the sensation.

He lowered his mouth and captured her taut nipple, drawing slow circles with his tongue. Arthur released throaty moans that made his arousal twitch in delight. His other hand explored her free breast, touching and massaging and pinching and holding.

Arthur was getting wobbly on her knees and Merlin pulled away. She groaned in protest, but Merlin was already pushing her until she lay on her bed. For a while, his eyes gazed all over her body, forever etching her naked form in his mind.

"Like what you see?" she teased, prompting him to release a strangled chuckle.

Merlin lowered himself on the bed beside her, his eyes never leaving her form. "Please tell me to stop," he begged once more, as he suckled on her other nipple. Arthur tried to pry off his tunic, but Merlin tightly held onto her wrist and shook his head.

"Not… not fair," she breathed out. Merlin smiled against her skin before shifting upwards to give her another kiss.

He had dreamt about this, of her naked and writhing underneath him, and Merlin always woke up aroused and frustrated. He had mentally scolded himself for even thinking improper thoughts of the princess, but he was a grown, healthy man. And to see her, like this, underneath him and panting, all of his rational thoughts flew out of the window.

Merlin already had an intimate experience with a girl. After all, he was a curious little being and he always wondered how it felt like to lay with a girl. Drunken confessions of the adults in Ealdor always made him wonder. Thus, inviting his best friend Winifred, fondly called Win, in an abandoned shack for _exploration_ opened a lot of wonders for teenage Merlin.

"Arthur, please tell me to stop," he whispered against her flushed skin. His right hand travelled south and pried her knees open.

He pulled away to fully look at her face. Arthur's pupils were dilated with lust and curiosity; Merlin had an inkling she never had an experience before. His experience with Win was purely out of curiosity but this… _gods_ , this was happening because of his damn feelings.

His eyes never left her face when his thumb finally found her nub. Arthur jerked in surprise, and Merlin gently smiled. "Relax," he whispered. "Unless you want me to stop?"

Predictably, she stubbornly shook her head. Merlin rubbed it again, languidly drawing circles until Arthur's chest was heaving with want. He then slipped a finger inside her and groaned; she was wet and warm and gods help him, it was because of him.

He lowered his mouth and sucked on one of her nipples again. Arthur was practically mewling on the bed, her hips bucking up to match his frantic fingers. She was nearing her release judging from her short, breathy moans and shaking legs. Merlin immediately stopped all of his ministrations and pulled away from her.

Arthur whimpered in protest, frustrated with her denied release, but Merlin merely smiled and latched onto her ankles. He gently pulled her down until her calves were dangling over the edge of her bed.

"W-what are you doing?" she huskily asked.

Merlin knelt down in front of her and Arthur instinctively drew her knees together. "Don't," he said, prying them open once more. He leant closer and could already smell her musty scent.

"Merlin…"

"Please tell me to stop," he said, his warm breath washing over her quivering form, but all he heard was her soft whimpering.

He gingerly tasted her with his tongue and Arthur released a cry. Emboldened by her reactions, he held both of her knees apart and licked her again and again.

"W-what are you – ohhh."

Her moans grew louder and frantic. Merlin immediately curled two fingers inside of her while continuing to pleasure her nub.

"M-Merlin, I… I can't," she cried. "It's too -" Her words died down as she finally had her release. Arthur writhed and moaned, clamping her legs around Merlin's fingers to savor the pleasurable sensations coursing all over her. All the while, Merlin's eyes never left her face, throat going dry at how her face twisted with unimaginable pleasure.

Arthur soon quieted down but her breathing was still ragged. She slowly opened her eyes to look at Merlin. She was spent and sated, but the smile on her face was wide and beautiful. He removed his slick fingers and crawled over her to give her a long, sweet kiss, before completely pulling away.

"I should… I should leave," he rasped out. His bulge felt uncomfortable in his trousers, begging to have his own release.

The princess slowly sat up and tried to touch him, but Merlin latched on both of her wrists and shook his head.

"But what about you?" she asked with wide, innocent eyes.

Merlin released a low, soft chuckle. "It doesn't matter," he said, turning his eyes away from her. He walked towards her discarded nightgown and gave it to her. "That… that wasn't supposed to happen. You should have told me to stop."

"Did you want to stop?"

He gave her a meaningful glance, prompting her to gently smile. "I thought so," she said. Arthur then wore her nightgown over her head and finally covered her naked form. Her cheeks flushed from exertion and embarrassment, but she boldly stood up from her bed and strode closer to Merlin.

He stumbled away and shied away from her reaching grasp. "I should go," he grounded out again. Merlin turned his head before he could see the expression on Arthur's face.

The remainder of the night was long and frustrating. Merlin relieved himself in the darkness of his room, the memory of Arthur's throaty moans and wandering hands replaying in his mind. Once he reached his orgasm, heavy guilt settled in his chest and hadn't left him until sunrays peeked through his window.

Suffice to say, he was a mess the next morning. Gaius and Gwen asked him if he was all right, but Merlin was too tired to bother answering them. He readied himself for the morning, knowing he'd have to serve both Arthur and Nathan. But when all the servants were called to the front doors to send their guest away, Merlin was confused.

Uther was enraged, reluctantly surrendering the captured lands to the heartbroken prince. Merlin saw Arthur with apology in her eyes, but her decision was resolute – "I cannot marry you, my lord. Forgive me."

The King of Camelot immediately excused himself, unable to watch his supposed son-in-law walk away. Arthur had stayed, though, and apologized to Prince Nathan once again.

"Tell me… who is it that trumps a prince?" he asked the princess.

Merlin felt his breath hitch at Arthur's sincere answer. "No one," she whispered. "And everyone."

The servants were already trickling away, but he stayed rooted on his spot. Merlin knew he wasn't meant to hear this exchange, but he could not bring himself to walk away.

"What great family is he from?"

For one, earth-shattering minute her ocean eyes met his. Merlin was afraid his heart would burst with too much emotions. "None," she continued, her eyes never leaving his. "He is but a servant."

Merlin knew Prince Nathan was also looking at him, but he couldn't bring himself to look away from her mesmerizing eyes.

"And you'd risk your whole kingdom? Your crown, just for him?" Prince Nathan asked in exasperation.

Arthur finally broke her gaze and looked at the prince. "Without him, they're worth nothing for me," she confessed.

Blood rushed through his ears and he backpedaled. He knew what she was about to say to him back in her bedchambers last night, but he begged her not to tell him. He knew that if she finally voiced out that his feelings for her were not one-sided, all hell would break loose. And now, for her to confess that without him, everything was _bleak_ … Merlin could not breath.

Prince Nathan looked at him once more, his brown eyes dark with envy and pain. "I would give up my own kingdom to be so loved," he finally said, before looking down at Arthur. The princess had tears in her eyes and Nathan gingerly brushed them away. "Farewell, Arthur."

The heartbroken prince left and Merlin stayed until he was but a dot in the horizon. All the servants went back to their chores and the only people left in the courtyard were him and Arthur. He was on the highest step, and Arthur below.

Their eyes briefly met and for a moment, Merlin thought she wasn't a princess but merely Arthur. _His_ Arthur. And that was all the mattered to him.

* * *

They hadn't talked about that intimate night for weeks. With Prince Nathan finally gone, their lives went back to normal. Merlin continued to serve Arthur whilst the princess continued with her duties. The manservant made it a point not to linger too long in her bedchambers, in fear that desire would fill him and unthinkably pounce on the beautiful princess.

He congratulated himself for being successful so far, but it was increasingly becoming difficult to serve Princess Arthur. His cock twitched every time she released soft, breathy, _innocent_ sighs. When her hands accidentally brushed against his, heat would instantly flood his cheeks. He thought for a moment that she was doing it on purpose, driving him on _edge_ , but her face never betrayed any obvious expression. Sometimes, he wondered if she thought about that night a little too much also.

"Merlin," she greeted one day, clad in her loose tunic and breeches. Her long, golden hair was braided on top of her head, and Merlin was tempted to reach out and let them loose. He liked her hair the most when they were wild and unrestrained.

"My lady, do you require my assistance today?" he asked, politely bowing his head in reply. Merlin wasn't quite sure how he should act in front of Arthur ever since that night, and opted to be the faithful, polite manservant instead. He deemed it to be improper to continue casually addressing her like they were equals. But then again, they had done something _beyond_ improper. Merlin hated his situation sometimes.

An unladylike snort escaped from her lips. "Why the politeness, _Mer_ lin?" she drawled. "It is terribly unbecoming of you."

The corners of his mouth twitched at her teasing tone. At least one of them was back to normal. "Forgive me, Lady _Arianna_ ," he said, marveling at how she bristled in indignation. "Do you want me uncouth instead?"

He belatedly realized his _tone_ might have been a tad suggestive. Arthur apparently thought so, too, because her cheeks blazed.

"Idiot," she spat, resolutely not meeting his gaze. "Just… just prepare Stormbringer and Arion. We're going for a ride."

"Should I invite Gwen?" he asked.

"No!" she hastily cried. Merlin's eyes widened in surprise. "I-I mean, we shouldn't bother her when she has plenty of chores."

Merlin bit his tongue to stop himself from retorting _he_ had plenty of chores, too. Sighing, knowing he had no choice, he already went to the stables to bring their horses.

Their ride through the forest was exhilarating. Consumed with the thoughts of Princess Arthur, Merlin hadn't really found the time to ride with Arion. He had terribly missed his horse and Arion seemed to share his sentiment. He was trotting happily when Merlin came to him and saddled him up.

Arthur brought them into their vast, beautiful meadow and unmounted near the glittering lake. She tied Stormbringer around one of the trees and Merlin followed suit. He brushed their manes while they happily ate the grass around. Merlin was still reluctant to move away from the horses and sit beside Arthur, afraid of what might transpire between the two of them.

Arion got annoyed and pushed him away, neighing in protest when Merlin would try to brush his mane once more. Stormbringer threatened to kick him from behind. "Some friends you are, you dolts," Merlin murmured under his breath, throwing dark glares towards the two horses.

Merlin slowly approached Arthur, who was quietly sitting on the grass and gazing at nowhere. He sat a few good meters away from her and tried his very best not to sneak some glances.

The tension was unbearably thick and Merlin was tempted to open his trap to spout some ridiculous stories just to dispel the awkwardness away. But talking meant saying things, and Merlin was notorious for saying the stupidest things. He might confess he couldn't stop thinking about her or… or… he was hopelessly in love with her. Thus, although it was hard, he clamped his lips shut to keep those thoughts unsaid.

"Fancy a swim, Merlin?"

He flinched in surprised at being addressed. Warily gazing at Arthur, he frowned. "It's still a little cold," he said. Although all the snow had already melted to give way for spring, the breeze was still chilly.

Arthur turned her head towards him and smirked. "Then perhaps, you can do something about it," she said.

Merlin wanted to protest, but he wouldn't deny any opportunity to use his magic. "If the lady wishes it," he said. He already stood up from the grass and walked closer to the lake, and so he was unable to see how Arthur's eyes angrily flashed at being called as a 'lady' by him.

The sorcerer crouched down and let his hand touch the water. " _Hætan_ ," he whispered. The icy cold grew lukewarm and comfortable. Merlin smiled and stood up, deeming it warm enough not to give the princess a cold. "It is ready, my lady."

When Arthur did not give him a response, Merlin turned his head to look at her, only to lose his footing in surprise and splash into the water.

The princess had discarded her clothes, _all_ of her clothes, and was stripped bare for Merlin to admire. Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, but her eyes and smile were coy.

"Like what you see?" she wickedly teased, reminiscent of that same faithful night.

Merlin's stomach sinfully clenched as he resolutely looked away. "M-my lady," he stuttered. "I don't think it is proper - " His words died down when he suddenly gulped a mouthful of water. Coughs racked from his body and he glared, but Arthur was already laughing heartily and wading into the water.

" _Mer_ lin, you _idiot_ ," she called.

He turned around to glare at her. He was relieved that her body was fully submerged in the water, save from her lovely face. She was grinning so wide he wondered if it had hurt. But _gods_ , she was beautiful, and Merlin felt that uncomfortable twitching inside his trousers once more.

"Come," she beckoned, lifting her fully exposed arm. "Swim with me."

Merlin debated whether he should remove his clothes or not. In the end, he opted to swim fully clothed, desperately wanting to hide his growing bulge. It most certainly didn't help him that the water was crystal clear; despite being underwater, he could still see a hint of her womanly curves.

Arthur silently watched him as he slowly waded closer, her blue eyes turning stormy with each step he took. Merlin had promised himself that night would be a one-time thing, that he wouldn't let his desires for this princess to take over. But she was making it _difficult_ , and his resolve was slowly washing away with the water as he drew nearer.

The manservant stopped when he was a few inches away from Arthur. He fisted his hands to his side, tempted to grab onto her and pull her flush against him.

"Can I… can I tell you something, Merlin?" she softly asked.

Not trusting himself to speak, he slowly nodded his head.

"I couldn't stop thinking about that… that _night_." Her cheeks grew warmer as Merlin swore under his breath. " _About you_ , actually."

"Y-you should," he stammered, breaking away from her searching gaze. "Stop thinking about me, I mean."

"I can't."

He heard her swim closer but still refused to look back at her. His eyes widened, however, when she placed a gentle hand against his cheek, forcing to turn his head and meet her eyes. "Can I tell you something else?" A pretty smile bloomed on her face when he slowly nodded his head in reply. "I… I want _you_ , Merlin. _Gods_ , I want you so much."

His breath hitched at her sincere confession and tried to pull away. Arthur steadfastly held him in place, a warning glint in her eyes.

"I know what you want," she stubbornly insisted, but Merlin was already shaking his head.

"No, you don't." Arthur might think he merely wanted her body, but Merlin wanted _more_. He wanted her smile, her tears, her mind, her soul… her _heart_.

The princess moved closer and leant her forehead against his. "What do you want then, Merlin?" she breathily whispered.

No words tumbled out from his mouth, but he still had his lips and hands. Merlin closed the remaining gap between them and gave her a kiss. Arthur shakily sighed against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck. Merlin's right hand tugged her hair loose until he could fully run his fingers through it. His other hand gently teased her nipple, earning him breathy moans from the delighted princess.

He choked out a groan when Arthur decided to wrap her legs around his waist, her crotch pressed pleasurably against his bulge. The princess pulled away in surprise and experimentally rubbed herself against him. Merlin's eyes widened as a groan tore out from his mouth once more.

Arthur grinned. "You like that?" she asked, rubbing herself against him again and again. Merlin was reduced to an incoherent mess as he pressed himself tighter against her.

With her body rubbing against him, Merlin knew he was closer to his release. Embarrassing blubbers tore out from his mouth – sounds which he knew Arthur would incessantly tease him in the future – but he didn't care. "My… my Arianna," he groaned, pressing his face against the crook her neck. "Ar… Arianna."

A low, throaty moan escaped from his lips as he finally reached his orgasm. His cock pulsated inside his trousers, and judging from Arthur's widened eyes, he knew she could feel it too.

"I…" she murmured once a stupid, goofy grin grew on his face. "I don't like to be called Arianna."

Merlin couldn't help but laugh. He lifted his hand and tucked a golden strand behind her ear. "When will you ever learn that I don't listen to you?" he teased.

Arthur lightly hit him on his chest, prompting him to laugh once more. " _Mer_ lin, you _idiot_ ," she lightly spat.

"I know," he sighed. "I know." He was the biggest idiot in the whole Five Kingdoms for falling in love with someone he could never be with.

The princess reluctantly pulled away and frowned. "We should get back," she said, disappointment in the tone of her voice. "People might be wondering where we are right now."

Merlin latched onto her wrist. "But we aren't done yet," he protested.

"We aren't?" she echoed, eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

"No." He gingerly touched her breast and grinned. "You haven't…"

Warmth instantly flooded her cheeks. "Oh," she gasped, a stupid grin also forming on her face. "Oh, right. But… but can you make it fast? I really… I really need to go back"

"Is that a challenge, Arthur?" he asked, humored.

She tried to hit him but he squeezed her breast, prompting her to moan and falter back. "Not… not fair," she breathed, eyes fluttering close when Merlin started to trail kisses on her neck.

"Give me five minutes, and we'll be done."

A strangled giggle flew from her mouth. " _Five_?" she gasped, jerking forward when his fingers started playing with her nub. "Aren't we a little arrogant?"

Merlin grinned against her skin and thrusted deeply. Arthur released a surprised shout, followed by throaty moans, bucking her hips against his thrusting hands.

They were out of the water after four, delicious minutes. The princess fondly rolled her eyes at the ridiculous proud smirk on Merlin's face.

* * *

 **A/N: Soooo this is the first time I've written a long-ass smut scene and yep, there's more to come lol.**

 **Obviously, Nathan is a genderbent Mithian. I honestly loved Mithian in the whole series and tried to include her in all of my Merlin fics. The dialogue between Nathan and Arthur were also borrowed from the series because, again, I loved that scene so much.**

 **I'm 3/4 finished with Part III but I promise to post it tomorrow!**

 **Please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

 **With love,  
** **WickedlyAwesomeMe**

 **P.S. I've been trying so hard to think of the perfect female version of Arthur. I still fervently think Felicity Jones would have been a wonderful Female Merlin. I somehow can't unsee Saoirse Ronan as a Female Arthur, though, but I'm really biased because I love her so much haha.**


	3. Part III

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin.**

* * *

 **A/N: Terribly sorry for the late update. I got swamped with other fanfictions and real life generally. Also, I admittedly had a hard time writing the last scenes for this story.**

 **Also, thank you for all those who favorited, followed, and reviewed this short fic. I know the concept is not exactly popular in the Merlin category, but I'm still very grateful some even gave it a try.**

 **Anyway, here's the last chapter for this three-shot. Enjoy!**

 _ **WARNING:**_ **More smuuuuuuuuut! Oh, and major character death. You've been sufficiently warned.**

* * *

 **Part III**

* * *

"What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed.

"Following you, _obviously_ ," Arthur said, casually flipping her braided hair over her shoulders.

Merlin scowled and jumped onto his feet, stalking angrily towards the haughty princess. "You're not supposed to be here!" he snapped, his eyes wildly looking around the dark forest to see if any suspicious person were lurking about. "How did you even - " He paused as his eyes narrowed. " _Gwen_."

"Yes, Gwen." Arthur crossed her arms against her chest and glared. "At least _Gwen_ was smart enough to inform me that my… my _manservant_ is stupid enough to venture back to his hometown and get himself killed."

"Nobody is getting killed," he insisted. "Not on my _watch_."

Two days ago, a letter from Ealdor came, stating that they were under attack by foreign mercenaries. Merlin's mother begged for help, seeing that their own king was incompetent to even help his people. Merlin bravely called an audience with King Uther, but the king predictably refused to send any help. Ealdor wasn't under Camelot and thus wasn't his responsibility.

Merlin then decided that if no knights of Camelot were to aid him, he'd travel back home and help them himself. These mercenaries were no match with Emrys, after all.

He bid his goodbye to Gaius and Gwen. Merlin opted not to tell his plans to Arthur because the princess would surely insist to come. King Uther would kill him if he discovered he recruited his daughter to fight off the bad men. Merlin specifically told Gwen not to tell Arthur, but who was he really kidding? Gwen was quite fond of Arthur and she didn't want to lie to the princess.

"You should go back," Merlin sternly ordered when Arthur started preparing her makeshift cot for the night. "This isn't your mission, Arthur."

"How dare you order around your future queen!" she exclaimed in reply, her eyes blazing with anger. "You don't get to tell what I should and should not do, _Mer_ lin."

The manservant sighed and slowly approached the fuming princess. He crouched down to level his eyes with hers. Reaching forward, he traced a finger against her cheek until she was mollified and brooding. "My hometown isn't currently safe, my Arianna," he said. "I can't… I can't go there with you, knowing I'd put your life in jeopardy."

Arthur made a huge show of rolling her eyes. "I'm not some weak damsel that needs protecting, Merlin," she protested. "I can help you. I'm good with a _sword_. I strategize well. You need me in this mission because you never think things through."

"That's not true!"

She fondly shook her head and placed a kiss under his chin. "Protest all you want, you idiot, but I'm still not leaving."

When he and Arthur arrived in Ealdor, Hunith was surprised. She instantly recognized the Crown Princess and hastily tried to bow down, but Arthur held on her arms and shook her head.

"It's best if people didn't know who I am," she gently ordered.

Hunith shot a curious look at her son, who resolutely refused to meet her gaze. "I received news that King Uther refused to help us," she started. "May I inquire why you are here, Princess Arthur?"

Her cheeks reddened while Merlin nervously coughed his throat. "Mother," the sorcerer said, saving Arthur further from embarrassing them both, "Lady Arthur is tired and hungry."

Ever the hospitable host, Hunith quickly excused herself and whipped up a simple, warm meal for her son and their visitor.

"You have your mother's eyes," Arthur commented as soon as they were settled on the small table.

"Well, yes." He petulantly tugged at his big ears and frowned. "I got this from my father, though."

The princess grinned and fondly tugged them, too. "They suit you, Merlin," she said.

Warmth flooded his cheeks at her tender smile and he felt his heart thudding in delight. Ever since their intimate encounter back in their secret field, things had been wonderful between the two of them. Merlin decided that they should stop getting too intimate, lest they got caught by the knights – or _worse_ – King Uther. But he didn't forbid secret touches and kisses in hidden alcoves, or secretive glances when they knew no one was looking.

His feelings for her grew like a mighty oak tree as the days flew by. He doubted that anything could stop these feelings anymore.

A soft cough from behind jolted them out from their little world. Arthur hastily retrieved her hands back and folded them primly on her lap.

"We do not have much," Hunith slowly started, curiously darting a glance between Merlin and the princess, "but I hope you accept this meal."

Arthur thanked her nonetheless and they ate their meal in peace.

Once they finished supper, Hunith and Merlin offered the only makeshift cot in the hut. Arthur fervently refused, reasoning that she was intruding and she was merely a guest, but the mother and son insisted. Although terribly uncomfortable, her heart warmed at the genuine kindness they showed to her. As sleep finally visited Arthur, she wished that Uther would be just like Hunith.

The following days after their arrival, Merlin witnessed firsthand the brutality his people were suffering under these foreign mercenaries. He was furious as he tried to secretly blast them away while Arthur slashed her shiny sword around, managing to injure as many mercenaries as she could.

It was almost three days when the mercenaries finally stopped coming. Ealdor was thankfully peaceful once more, but she also had her own share of casualties. Hunith, as the village physician, opted to stay in a neighbor's hut to nurse him back to health. Merlin assured his mother that he didn't mind, that he'd take care of the princess.

As he prepared for bed, Arthur came to him.

"Are you insane?" Merlin breathlessly whispered when he felt Arthur embracing him from behind. The only light they had was from the moon, and Merlin couldn't clearly see her, but he knew she was grinning broadly.

"Your mother won't be coming back," she said.

His breath hitched when she pressed warm kisses on his neck. "Arthur," he growled. "Stop _this_."

Arthur sighed against his neck and walked in front of him. In the darkness, her blue eyes were shining; he felt his throat dry.

"Merlin," she said, placing a gentle hand against his neck.

He didn't let her speak as he pulled away. "The past few days had been _glorious_ ," he started, "but we should stop this… this _madness_ before we're in too deep, Arthur."

Her eyes glinted in the dark and a shadow of a small, sad smile graced her face. "Oh, _Mer_ lin, you _idiot_ ," she fondly said, reaching forward for him despite his earlier rejection. "Isn't that a little too late now?" She gingerly stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. Since he was impossibly taller than her, she was on her tiptoes until she finally placed a kiss on his lips. "I'm in too deep already." Her lips brushed lightly against his. "Nothing can pull me out from this anymore."

In spite of himself, he laughed because _gods_ , he felt exactly the same way. He didn't fight back anymore when she pressed more kisses, her soft hands roaming everywhere. She allowed him to tug her tunic and undergarments away, until she was half-naked and beautiful under the glow of the moonlight.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, pressing kisses on the hollow of her neck. "So beautiful."

She hastily removed her breeches as she pushed him back until he was sprawled on the cot. He had already seen her naked _twice_ , but Merlin still felt his breath leaving him at the sight of her form.

Arthur tried to remove his tunic, but Merlin batted her hand away. "No," he sternly said, prompting her to lightly glare.

"You get to see me like this, _Mer_ lin," she drawled. "I think it's just fair that you let me see you without your clothes, too."

He wasn't really embarrassed with his body. Win once told him that despite his lean body, he was, for lack of a better word, _handsome_. He just knew that once he was undressed, he might do something _more_ – something he didn't want to steal away from Arthur.

"Arthur - "

"As your princess, I order you to remove your clothes," she haughtily said. Merlin warily glared at the smile on her face.

"Dollophead," Merlin grumbled, crumpling the hem of his tunic and ripping it away. "You know that your words are absolute."

Her eyes twinkled as she took in his bare torso. Merlin flinched when her cold hands explored the expanse of his chest, tracing every scar and every mole she could see in the dark. He rumbled when her lips replaced her finger and had kissed his chest until he was intoxicatingly aroused.

Arthur's fingers fumbled with his breeches but he jerked her hand away. " _Don't_ ," he hissed as she unintentionally rubbed her crotch against his bulge.

"Why not?" she asked, complete with a small pout.

"I might… I might do something improper."

A disbelieving laugh escaped from her lips. "We're already doing something _improper_ ," she pointed out. "Might as well go all the way now, Merlin."

He pushed her away and sat up, refusing to meet Arthur's suddenly confused eyes. "You don't understand," he said. "Your… your _gift_ must be presented to your future husband. I cannot -" He paused and swallowed down his emotions. "I cannot defile the future Queen of Camelot."

Arthur answered his words with silence and Merlin was afraid he had offended her. But he spoke the truth. Doing improper things with her in the first place would be frowned upon. Merlin was afraid that when her future husband knew of their tryst, he wouldn't be able to live this down. Merlin would forever blame himself if Arthur was stuck in a loveless marriage because of his stupid desires.

"You are filled with rubbish today, Merlin," Arthur finally said.

His eyes widened at her words and he glared. Arthur, on the other hand, was grinning widely at him like a madwoman.

"Why do you talk about me like I'm some precious little princess?" she said, shaking her head. "You've known me for _months_ , Merlin. Months! How can you still not understand that I am _strong_ , that I don't break easy… that I do what I _want_."

"Those exactly aren't traits of a princess," he pointed out, the corners of his mouth twitching. He wasn't surprised when Arthur swatted his arm.

"Yes, well, I don't bloody care about being a proper princess," she snapped. She placed both of her hands against his cheek and forced him to meet her gaze. "I told you before, Merlin. I want… I want _you_. I don't think you realized the magnitude of what I said." She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his chin. "I want _all_ of you. Your… your body, your smile, your tears, your mind, your soul, your…" She paused and caught his gaze. "I want your _heart_. Oh, especially your heart."

Merlin knew he was stupidly grinning when Arthur captured his lips once more. His heart thudded with glee, knowing that they had the same sentiments. He was afraid at first that he was just a curious little experiment for Arthur, which he didn't mind. He loved her so much he'd do whatever she wanted.

He didn't stop her when she finally removed his breeches. His prick stood proud and erect with arousal and he watched in amusement as Arthur's eyes almost bulged out from their sockets.

"I've never seen…" The words died down from her lips as she gingerly wrapped her fingers around his shaft.

Merlin groaned at the feel of her fingers. "D-don't," he said, latching onto her wrist. "I might not last long enough."

He pushed her until he was hovering above her body. Merlin worked his fingers until Arthur was a whimpering mess and very much ready for him. Then, he slowly lowered himself, a question in his eyes.

"What do you want, Merlin?" she asked instead, reaching out her hand to place it against his cheek.

"You," he instantly said. " _All_ of you."

Arthur grinned and lightly nodded. Merlin finally inserted himself inside her, slowly and gently, watching the princess' face to see if he'd hurt her. She gasped and clamped down a whimper, prompting him to stop.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked, madly distracted by her warmth and wetness.

"A bit," she confessed.

"Stop me if it becomes unbearable," he managed to choke out. "Truthfully, though, I'm not going to last long."

Arthur nodded her head and Merlin wasted no time. She released a soft cry again, but didn't tell him to stop.

As he fully inserted himself inside her, Merlin started to thrust forward. They were slow and cautious, afraid that he'd surprise her and hurt her. He was unable to bite back his groans though, marveling at how she was snuggly wrapped around his cock. When he thrusted again, Arthur this time released a moan.

Her eyes were wide with surprise and pleasure, prompting him to grin and pick up his pace. Arthur buried her cries against his neck, her nails dragging lines on his back. He could already feel his impending release and grew frantic, incoherent blubbers escaping from his lips as he placed sloppy kisses on her face. Arthur reached her orgasm once more, but Merlin was too distracted by his own impending release.

With a final thrust, he reached his orgasm. Merlin immediately withdrew his cock away and made a sticky mess on her thighs instead.

"Oh gods," he groaned, heavily plopping on top of Arthur's sweaty body. He was tired and spent, but marvelously sated. This was officially one of the best days he ever had.

"I can't breathe," she squeaked, weakly trying to push him off her.

Merlin chuckled and rolled down beside her. The cot was small and he felt a little shamefaced for doing it on his _mother's_ bed. Merlin took a mental note to banish any signs of their lovemaking on this bed before Hunith came back tomorrow.

Arthur turned to face him and wrapped an arm around his chest. She snuggled against his neck and sighed, prompting him to smile.

"That was… that was…"

"I know."

Arthur grinned and looked up at him. "We should probably get dressed before your mother comes back, though," she pointed out.

Begrudgingly, she had a point, and Merlin sat them both up from the cot. He grabbed her clothes and helped her with it. Arthur did the same and helped him with his tunics and breeches. Merlin's heart couldn't bear with the intimacy of her touches. Their lovemaking might have ended, but her hands and her glances were still speaking to his heart.

She had been right. Frightfully so. They were too far in too deep in this twisted relationship. Merlin had a feeling this wouldn't end happily, but at least right now, he _was_ happy.

* * *

When they returned to Camelot, their secret trysts continued. Princess Arthur always made an excuse to send Merlin to her bedchambers, pouncing onto him as soon as the footsteps of the knights were long gone. Try as he might, he couldn't resist her anymore. Lonely nights in his own room were filled with frustrated thoughts of her.

Merlin insisted that she should stop sending knights for him after a week. He could hear them talk, after all. Rumors spread around Camelot like wildfire and Merlin didn't want to drag the Future Queen of Camelot's name with him. He promised that they'd make a schedule, one that would not arouse suspicion. He even suggested that they continued their rendezvous in their secret little field; at least there, they were alone. It wasn't uncalled for when the princess and her manservant rode on their horses for an adventure, therefore they would arouse less suspicion.

Despite their intoxicating lovemaking, Merlin knew that they were confronted with another possible problem – an unwanted pregnancy. Merlin knew that there were spells for contraception, but he was too afraid to try it onto Arthur, lest he'd magically make her barren instead.

"Gaius has a supply of contraceptive potions," Arthur offered as the best solution.

He eyed her suspiciously. "How did you know that?" he asked.

Arthur nonchalantly shrugged. "The maidservants talk. I _listen_."

Thus, Merlin always snooped around Gaius' cabinets before meeting Arthur. These potions were abundant and Merlin believed Gaius wouldn't even notice that his supply was dwindling. Merlin made it a point to reverently help Gaius in making potions for his work, _especially_ the contraceptive potions, just so he would not make the Court Physician suspicious.

But then, of course, Merlin had forgotten this was _Gaius_. His mentor was always impeccable; he'd instantly know if a potion was misplaced or the timing of the ingredients were wrong. Merlin should have known Gaius would catch him one of these days.

"Gaius, let me explain," the manservant said, quickly pocketing the contraceptive potion inside his trousers. "It's not… it's not what you think."

Merlin mentally groaned and kicked himself. He sounded too guilty, making Gaius more suspicious.

The Court Physician lifted an eyebrow and stared him down for a long while. Merlin was already growing nervous under his scrutinizing gaze. He was helpless when Gaius swiftly fished out the contraceptive potion from his pockets.

The old physician's eyes widened in disbelief, before fury fully appeared on his face.

"Gaius…"

"Silence," he ordered. Merlin instantly clamped his lips shut and warily eyed Gaius' white knuckles around the neck of the bottle.

The manservant held his breath as Gaius slowly stalked forward. He stopped when he was merely a few inches away from his ward. "Do you know what this is for, Merlin?" he asked, lifting the red potion and swishing it slightly.

"Y-yes," he said, refusing to meet his gaze.

"What?" When Merlin still had not answered, Gaius repeated his question with a stronger force.

"A… a potion, to prevent contraception," Merlin finally said. He suddenly felt exhausted, slumping his shoulders forward and bowing his head. He wanted to make up a lie, to pretend that this potion was for a _friend_ , but Gaius would see through him. Merlin was a terrible liar after all. It was still a wonder to him how he was able to hide his magic from Uther.

Merlin slowly lifted his head to look back at Gaius. The Court Physician had a strange expression on his face and Merlin had this strange urge to apologize. He knew he was wrong for letting his desires consume him. He knew that as the _servant_ , he had no place in the princess' heart. But it was hard, to let Arthur go, to let these feelings go.

He was suddenly emboldened by his feelings and stood at his fullest height. "Gaius, I - "

"This will not end well, lad."

The younger of the two blinked in surprise, his jaw still half-open from his disrupted speech. Gaius gave him a meaningful glance, prompting his eyes to widen.

"You… you know?"

In spite of himself, Gaius smiled. "Of you and Arthur?" Merlin flinched at the mention of the princess' name. "Merlin, I've known you for _years_. You hold your heart out for the world to see. The princess isn't exactly discreet with her feelings, too."

His cheeks warmed and shamefully looked at his feet. "I know what we're doing is wrong, Gaius," he whispered. "I know… I-I'm sorry."

"You should put an end to this. _Immediately_." Gaius adopted that stern voice of his once more, and Merlin snapped his eyes back into his wizened face, pleading. "Stop this, or I'll be forced to send you back to Ealdor. If Hunith discovered what you're doing, she'd be _furious_."

"Please," Merlin cried, desperately clinging onto Gaius' sleeves. " _Please_ , Gaius, don't send me back. I… I can't. _Stop_ this, I mean. I…" His breath hitched as a confession started to stumble out. "I… I love her, Gaius. So much… Very much."

Gaius was gobsmacked as Merlin released a shaky sigh. He still had not voiced out his feelings to Arthur but he suspected she knew anyway.

"You are mad, Merlin," Gaius breathlessly exclaimed.

A wry grin appeared on Merlin's face as he tiredly ran a hand through his hair. "Completely, I know," he concurred.

To his surprise, concern flitted in Gaius' eyes. "Are you serious?"

"I've never felt surer in my whole life, Gaius," Merlin steadfastly replied. "I _love_ her." Now that he was able to say it out loud, Merlin had this stupid desire to say it again and again. He couldn't wait to meet Arthur tonight; he promised himself that the first thing he'd tell her was that he _loved_ her.

"This will not end well," Gaius repeated, wrapping strong hands around Merlin's upper arm. He tried to shake him, as if to shake those feelings away, but his feelings for Arthur clung tighter in his heart. "She is a _princess_ and you're just… you're just a manservant."

"I know that," Merlin snarled, suddenly feeling annoyed. "I know that, Gaius. Every night as I go to sleep, I fear that we'll be discovered and I'll be forced to stay away but I cannot - " His words died down as his hand crept to his heart. "I cannot stop this. I've tried, I swear to you I really did, but… but I can't."

Horrified, he could feel tears brimming in his eyes. His feelings for the princess had overwhelmed his being; mingled with the terrified thought that their relationship wouldn't end well, Merlin couldn't handle the sudden onslaught of emotions.

Through his tears, he could see that Gaius' features softened. The Court Physician pulled him into a fatherly hug and held him until his tears had abated.

"Let me… let me at least spend more days with her, Gaius," he vowed. "I promise to be careful."

Gaius reluctantly let him go, wordlessly thrusting the contraceptive potion in his hands. Merlin was honestly surprised he had swayed Gaius so easily. He turned a blind eye when Merlin quickly slipped out of the room and went to Arthur's bedchambers.

When he burst inside her room, Arthur jumped onto her feet. She had instinctively clung to her sword, afraid that there was an intruder. But upon seeing that it was merely Merlin, she scowled and rolled her eyes.

"You _idiot_ ," she snapped. "You almost gave me a heart attack!" She fisted her hands and placed it against her hips. "What took you so long?"

Instead of answering her with words, Merlin closed the remaining space between them in three, magnificent strides. He had kissed her like he had never kissed her before, only pulling away when breathing became a necessity.

The princess' face was flushed, but her eyes were questioning. "What - "

"I love you," he blurted out before he could stop himself. Arthur's eyes widened in surprise. "I love you so much… _very_ much."

Her mouth comically opened and closed, before a brilliant smile stretched widely on her face. She threw her arms around his neck and held him tight, unable to suppress a giddy giggle from her lips. "I love you, too," she whispered, placing a kiss on his cheek.

He happily wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. Merlin buried his nose on her golden tresses, inhaling her flowery scent he could recognize even from miles away.

"We have a problem, though," he said. "Gaius _knows_."

Princess Arthur gasped and pulled away. "W-what?" she thundered. "Everything?"

"Everything," Merlin echoed, pulling out the contraceptive potion for her to see. Her cheeks flushed once more, this time of pure horror and embarrassment.

"What did he say?"

"He was furious, of course," he said nonchalantly. "But… I'm here now, aren't I?"

Arthur bit her bottom lip and completely stepped away from him. "Should we be worried?" she whispered.

Merlin tried to remember the expression on Gaius' face when he revealed he loved the future Queen of Camelot. "I… I don't think so," he finally said, quite sure of himself. "I know he is strongly against our, err, _intimate_ relationship. But…" Merlin sighed, still confused with Gaius' decision a while ago. "He did warn us to be more careful."

"You _idiot_ ," she sighed, weakly swatting him on the arm. Merlin glared and rubbed his smarting arm. "I shouldn't have trusted you to be discreet."

He made a huge show of rolling his eyes before yanking her back into his arms. "Well, I wasn't the randy one – OW! Gods, Arthur!" he cried, this time massaging his painful side.

He felt her cheeks flame up against his neck. "Shut up, Merlin," she murmured.

Merlin chuckled under his breath and placed a kiss on her forehead. "How do you suggest to do that, hmm?" he whispered against her ear.

For her reply, she playfully bit on his neck. Suffice it to say, Merlin hadn't talked that much for the rest of the night.

* * *

"Arthur, _please_ , we should go."

Merlin tried desperately to pull the frozen princess away from the chaos. Gwen tearfully looked at Arthur and then to Merlin, before hastily gathering some last minute necessities for their flight.

Today, King Uther was murdered, and neither Merlin nor Arthur were able to do something to stop it. Merlin always thought that there was something fishy about Prince Morgan. And today, the prince finally made it clear that he wasn't on their side.

He was still reeling from Prince Morgan's betrayal, but he forced himself to focus and deliver Arthur out of Camelot. Prince Morgan killed Uther to get the throne for himself. Now that the king was gone, it was only Arthur standing between him and the throne. Arthur was therefore in danger, and Merlin and Gwen agreed that the best solution for their current predicament was to flee from Camelot.

Princess Arthur hadn't talked during the whole duration of their journey. Merlin desperately begged her to at least talk to him, but the shell-shocked princess would merely stare unseeingly ahead, tears steadily pouring from her eyes.

Merlin had not slept a wink during their journey to Ealdor. Gwen urged him to at least rest, promising to wake him up immediately when something happened with Arthur. But how could he rest when he worried too much for Arthur?

He reverently stayed by her side, letting her fitfully sleep beside him and kissing her tears away. Gwen, who still had no idea of the extent of the relationship between her friends, had thankfully stayed silent.

They arrived in Ealdor on the third day of their travel. Hunith, already receiving the news of Uther's demise, tearfully welcomed Arthur with open arms. Merlin was stunned when Arthur suddenly broke down, loud, guttural sobs escaping from her lips, as she desperately clung to Hunith.

Hunith held Arthur in her sleep during their first night of stay. As the two most important women in his life slept, Gwen sat down beside him and comfortingly held his hand.

"There's something going on between you and Arthur, isn't it?"

Judging from the look on her face, she already knew the answer anyway. Nonetheless, Merlin wryly smiled and nodded his head.

"She will be all right," she reassured. "Arthur always becomes better."

Merlin was unable to reply anything in return, highly doubting Gwen's words. With Uther gone, Arthur was in distress. Morgan was currently sitting on the throne, seizing the power over Camelot for himself. He wasn't sure when things started to spiral downward.

He knew that Arthur would insist to save his people from Camelot. Merlin would be honestly surprised if she _didn't_ attempt to. The crown and throne were rightfully hers, after all. King Uther wouldn't want it any other way.

Merlin tried to devise a plan to help her reclaim Camelot if it meant taking his mind off the possibility that once Arthur was finally on the throne, things between them would never be the same. As now the rightful Queen of Camelot, Arthur was bound to her duties and her people.

Merlin highly doubted he still had a place in her life after all this madness ended.

* * *

Arthur breathed a huge sigh of relief when she didn't hear Merlin's telltale footsteps. She loved him very much and she appreciated his concern, but she really needed some time alone to contemplate.

As she ventured into the forest near Ealdor, Arthur let her mind wander. Now that Uther was dead, as Crown Princess, the law stated that she was the rightful owner of the throne. The thought of Prince Morgan made her blood boil. She had trusted him with all her heart and had cared for him like they were blood-related. She was admittedly jealous of him as they grew up together; Uther seemed to always favor him more than her. But she never expected that he was capable of _murder_.

Tears pricked her eyes as she heavily plopped on a fallen log. Arthur hated feeling hopeless like this. Merlin promised her that they would reclaim Camelot back; with him, a powerful _sorcerer_ , as her ally, Prince Morgan did not stand a chance. Merlin sounded as if he was so sure of himself, and Arthur might have loved him a little more.

The idea of finally becoming queen was daunting. Uther ruled over Camelot when he was her age, too, but Arthur still didn't think she was ready. She still had a lot to learn and feared she would never live up to her past ancestors' legacy. She somehow regretted her youthful years, stubbornly refusing to adhere to the laws and listen to her tutors. Arthur now understood why her father was stricter to her – as king, Uther's life was constantly in danger, and he wanted his daughter to be ready when the time finally came.

' _It's too soon, Father,'_ she mentally cried, swiping her face. _'I'm not ready. It's too soon.'_

Panic seized her whole but Arthur tried to take deep breaths to calm her tumultuous heart. Uther would want her to be strong despite the situation and she didn't want to disappoint her father.

Sudden rustling from a bush nearby brought her quickly onto her feet. She cursed herself for forgetting to bring her sword with her. Arthur was ready to bound back to Ealdor when a peasant boy suddenly stumbled out from the rustling bush.

He looked young and unimposing, but Arthur didn't want to become too complacent. He bore the Pendragon seal and Arthur stiffened, warily watching as the boy slowly strode forward the princess.

"I bring tidings from King Morgan, my lady," he said, bowing deeply as greeting.

Arthur's eyes flashed in anger. How _dare_ he call himself king! The throne was rightfully hers! "What tidings?" she snapped.

The boy hastily rummaged inside his pockets and pulled out an official letter. He immediately handed it to Arthur and ran away.

The parchment felt ominous; Arthur did not have a good feeling about this. Slowly, she unrolled the parchment and read its contents.

 _If you do not show yourself in three days, everything you hold dear will die. The people of Camelot will perish under my reign, and it will be all your fault._

The letter was neither addressed nor signed, but Morgan's handwriting was familiar. Arthur angrily crumpled the parchment and threw it away. How dare this _murderer_ threaten her! She was still the rightful Crown Princess of Camelot. Arthur couldn't wait to slash the sword against this traitor like how he did with her father.

"Oh thank the gods! I thought something already happened to you!"

Before she could react, Arthur was suddenly engulfed in Merlin's arms. Most of her anger melted away and she sagged against him, the realization of what she had to do finally weighing down on her shoulders.

"You _dollophead_ ," Merlin angrily growled as he pulled her away from him. His eyes were blazing and Arthur actually felt a little shamefaced for running away without their permission. "What if something happened to you?"

"I needed some time to think, Merlin," she explained with a sigh. She threw a withering glare at him and shook her head. "Honestly, you _smother_. I needed to get away."

"I do not smother!" he cried in reply. Arthur, however, was able to detect the humongous relief in his eyes. She knew she hadn't been herself these past few days and had immensely worried this wonderful man. For her to start teasing him relieved him that at least she was _back_.

Suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, Arthur wrapped her arms around him once more. She tried to suppress her tears, but they wouldn't stop.

"Arthur?" he tentatively whispered, comfortingly rubbing her back.

The princess knew what must be done. She still had a duty to her people and Camelot. She wouldn't rest until she knew that Prince Morgan was overthrown and the throne finally had its rightful ruler. And she knew that Merlin would follow, even up to the ends of the earth.

Silently praying to the gods above, Arthur wished that things would soon get better.

* * *

"Do you know a place where we can be alone?"

Merlin lifted an eyebrow at the blushing princess. He darted a quick glance at his mother and Guinevere, who were both immersed in a conversation he didn't bother to know. "Why?" he whispered in reply, smirking at her exasperated look.

"You know why," she insisted.

Oh, he most certainly knew why, but it was terribly easy to rile her up. "I don't," he simply replied.

Arthur blew a frustrated breath and gave him a glare. "You know what? Never mind. I'll just - "

A low chuckle escaped from his lips as he latched onto her wrist under the table. "I know a place," he then said, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb through her knuckles. "We can, err, sneak out once they're both asleep."

Her cheeks reddened once more and nodded her head.

Once night came, Merlin made sure that both Hunith and Gwen were fast asleep before reaching for Arthur's hand and dragging her away. The princess still had remnants of sleep on her face, occasionally yawning until they finally reached a small abandoned hut just at the outskirts of Ealdor. Merlin was pleasantly surprised that it still looked the same after all these years.

"How'd you know about this place?" Arthur asked, glancing curiously around the small hut. There was a makeshift cot that had seen better days. Rusting pans were scattered around a rickety table. The whole place smelled of soil and mold, but it was almost comfortable.

Lightly blushing at her question, Merlin refused to look at her eyes. "Erm," he started, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. How was he supposed to tell her this was the place he first lost his virginity? "I used to play here all the time." _Well_ , that wasn't far from the truth.

Arthur narrowed her eyes at his fumbling, but had thankfully accepted his reason. She shivered slightly and hugged herself as a cold breeze blew inside the dilapidated hut. Merlin instantly waved his hand to warm the walls and floor. Arthur tugged his hand appreciatively and pulled him down on the makeshift cot.

For a while, they lied down on the cot and wrapped themselves in each other's arms. Although Merlin always looked forward to their lovemaking, he liked it the most when he was merely holding her like this. Arthur yawned widely against his neck, prompting him to smile. "I think it's best if we just go back and sleep, Arianna," he murmured against her hair.

"Stop calling me that," she softly whined. "I'm _Arthur_."

"Everybody calls you that," he pointed out. "I want to at least call you something that's _mine_."

Instead of answering, Arthur sighed against his skin and started to press lazy kisses on his neck. She languidly slipped a hand underneath his tunic and rubbed a particularly sensitive spot on his abdomen. Merlin groaned and captured her lips, sleep now fully forgotten.

It didn't take long for their clothes to be haphazardly discarded on the floor. Merlin charmed the moth-eaten blanket clean and warm and draped it over their writhing bodies.

There was something different about Arthur's touches and kisses tonight, though. A few times, he thought she was crying, but then she'd do something and he'd be distracted with the pleasurable sensations coursing through him. His worry was soon forgotten at the height of his release, murmuring her name – her _real_ name – again and again like it was a prayer. A _promise_.

Merlin worked on Arthur's own orgasm, which didn't take too long. Arthur now lay curled against him, spent and sated, once again lazily pressing kisses on his neck.

As the throes of ecstasy simmered, the previous worry he had felt once again settled in his chest. "Arthur," he started, raising a hand to brush away her fringes from her face, "is something bothering you?"

He lifted an eyebrow in amusement when she snorted. "Of course something's bothering me, you _idiot_ ," she whispered, weakly hitting him on his bare chest. " _Morgan_ is sitting on the throne, _my_ throne, while I'm hiding away in this village like _a_ coward."

Merlin immediately regretted his question, hearing the bitterness in Arthur's voice. "We already have a sound plan," he reminded her. "And we'll go back to Camelot _soon_. Just… just don't act too rashly and put yourself in danger."

"I can take care of myself," she protested.

He smiled and dropped a kiss on her nose. "I know that," he said. "You can't stop me from worrying about you, though."

She shifted in his arms and pressed herself closer to him. The feel of her breasts pressed against his chest made his now flaccid cock twitch in pleasure. Merlin couldn't help but roll his eyes at his stupid body for reacting stupidly at her small ministrations. If they didn't return soon, he had this feeling he'd take her once more until they were utterly spent and tired. Hunith and Gwen might grow suspicious, which wouldn't bode well for him.

"Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask a question?"

Merlin frowned, curious. "Go on," he urged.

Arthur buried her face against the crook of his neck and sighed. "If… If perhaps I made you my king, will you agree?"

His breath hitched in surprise. "W-what?" he gasped, yanking her away to look her directly in the eyes. Arthur's cheeks were dark but her eyes were hard with determination. Merlin swallowed down his shock and nervously looked away from her ocean eyes. "I… I haven't really thought of becoming one. I've always been Merlin. _Just_ Merlin, and I've never wished for more."

He balked at the idea of him sitting on a throne, a shiny crown sitting on top of his hair. But then, his imagination included Arthur, now as a queen, sitting on the throne beside him, looking beautiful in a rich burgundy dress and an equally shiny crown on her golden hair.

For a fleeting moment, Merlin thought that idea wasn't so bad at all.

"With my Father gone, it is my obligation to become Queen," she pointed out, snapping him off from his thoughts. Arthur pulled away from him and slowly sat up. Merlin peered up at her and felt his heart skip a beat at how the moonlight wonderfully bathed her form. "And as Queen, I need a King beside me."

"And you think I'm suited for that role?" he asked, bewildered. He also sat up from the cot to look her squarely in her eyes. "Arthur, I think you are quite forgetting that I'm a _sorcerer_. Camelot is still too blinded with hatred to accept the likes of me. And me? A _king_? HA!"

She fondly rolled her eyes as the corners of her mouth twitched. "You really think that is too farfetched?" she asked.

" _Arthur_ ," he grounded out, "you're a princess and I'm a mere _servant_. Of course that is too farfetched."

"I may be a princess but I'm a _servant_ to my _people_ ," she replied with that dazzling grin of hers. "Aren't we a perfect match?"

In spite of himself, Merlin chuckled and shook his head. "The council will pressure you to search for a strategic husband," he continued. "You said it yourself before. As the Crown Princess, it is also your duty to search for a rightful king to give you the rightful heir."

Arthur sighed and placed a hand against his cheek. "But Merlin, you sweet and wonderful _idiot_ , I am in love with you," she proclaimed. He was unable to suppress a grin at her passionate declaration. "I don't need a strategic husband who needs a perfect little wife. I will be a _terrible_ wife, but you already knew that, and you love me nonetheless. It would be such a bother to search for another and force him to accept me as _me_."

The thought of marrying her and giving her beautiful children made him giddy all of a sudden. He pictured blond children with impossibly large ears, running amok around the castle and giving their poor mother a headache. He even wished that at least one of them would share his gift of magic, and Merlin would secretly teach him or her to become a powerful sorcerer or sorceress like him.

"As the rightful Queen, my first official decree is to severely punish those who questioned your ability as King."

"You're not even on the throne but you're already abusing your power," he pointed out with a grin.

Arthur leaned closer and gave him a sweet kiss. "For my second official decree, I will rebuke the law against persons of magic," she whispered.

His heart swelled and his eyes felt warm. "What?" he breathlessly asked.

"You heard me, Merlin," she laughed. "I'll bribe you with whatever just to make you my _King_. Please, I beseech you, just accept my offer."

Nerves clotted in his throat but his eyes already spoke volumes of his answer. Arthur grinned beautifully and gave him another kiss.

Merlin couldn't wait for their future together.

* * *

His heart was constricting as he held Arthur's injured form in his arms. "You idiot," he sobbed, burying his face at her dirtied, matted, golden hair. It smelled of blood and smoke, but he was still able to inhale the sweet, flowery scent that was distinctively her. "You _idiot_."

Both Arthur and Merlin believed that they had the upper hand when they finally returned to Camelot. After all, as a powerful sorcerer against Morgan's mere mortal knights, Merlin would have been unstoppable. What they didn't anticipate was that Morgan recruited the help of the High Priestess, Morgause, who also shared Morgan's deep hatred for Uther. Morgause had enchanted undead soldiers from the grave and they could not be defeated by mere swords.

The Knights of the Round Table, although ever faithful to the true Queen of Camelot, were no match to these knights. Merlin watched Arthur despairing over the death of her loyal soldiers as he tried to blast them off with his magic.

It was in the middle of the battle when Merlin was separated from Arthur. Panic rose in his chest like a great beast and he desperately tore through the red-soaked stone floors of the castle in search for his love. A heavy feeling already settled in his heart, fearing for the worst.

When he arrived in the Throne Room, he was already too late. Morgan had stabbed Arthur with an enchanted sword. His beloved was bleeding all over the floor, barely clinging to life, and Merlin saw red. In a fit of rage, he had blasted Morgan with as much force as he could muster. The sickening crunch of his limp body filled him with a sick sense of satisfaction and regret.

His battle with Morgause went in a blur. All Merlin could think about was Arthur's dying form. He didn't bother checking if the unconscious Morgause was still alive. He snatched Arthur's limp body in his arms and brought him to the Isle of the Blessed.

He was surprised when Kilgharrah was there, seemingly expecting their arrival.

"Kilgharrah, please, I beg you," he had cried, placing Arthur's dying form on the ground. "Do something."

"The young Pendragon's time has come to an end," the Great Dragon solemnly replied.

But Merlin could not accept this. "She hasn't been Queen for a day yet," Merlin insisted. "How can you… how can you say that?"

The dragon's eyes glinted with sorrow. "It has been written ages ago, even before you have walked this very earth, Merlin," he continued. " _You_ are destined for greatness. _You_ are destined to bring about the unification of the Five Kingdoms. Arianna Pendragon is but a means for you to achieve your destiny."

Merlin's heart clenched as more tears slipped down from his eyes. "Without her, I am nothing." He gingerly touched her cold cheek and bowed his head down. "Without her, I don't care about greatness."

Before the dragon could speak, Arthur suddenly took a deep, shuddering breath and opened her eyes. Her expression was pained as her gaze fell on his. "M-Merlin?" she asked. She cried in pain and pressed a hand against her wound. Merlin had tried to desperately cure her, muttering healing incantations, but they were all for naught. This was a mortal wound and Merlin could not do anything about it.

"Arthur, I'm here, I'm here," he sobbed, gingerly pressing her closer to his chest.

"Merlin," she called once more, placing a pale hand against his face. "Listen to me. There's… there's something I want to say."

" _No_ , you're not going to say goodbye."

She wryly smiled as tears now streamed down from her eyes. "No," she said. "I - " She gasped as pain shot through her once more. "Merlin, I love you and I've truly wished we could rule over Camelot together."

"We can still do that," he insisted. "Please, Arthur… _Arianna_. Please."

It scared him how there was only resignation in her eyes. "I've…" Her breathing turned ragged and her ocean eyes shone bright. "I've always hated it when you call me that."

Her eyes started closing and Merlin desperately shook her awake. "No, _no_ , Arthur." He wildly looked at the silent Great Dragon. "Kilgharrah, I beseech you."

"I am sorry, Merlin."

Arthur then pulled out her ring that bore the Pendragon crest and placed it on his shaking hand. "I've made you king once I am gone," she faintly continued. "I've written the council a letter and if… if anyone of them protests, I'll" – wry smile appeared on her face – "I'll come back from my grave and haunt them all."

He released a strangled sound of a sob and a chuckle. "I am no king."

Arthur fondly squeezed his hand. "You are destined for greatness," she said. "Camelot is lucky to have you."

He tried more incantations to heal her wound. Frustrated tears spilled down from his eyes when none had worked. Arthur weakly lifted her hands and held his, stopping him from doing more. "Thank you, Merlin." Her voice had gone quieter, the smile on her face faltering. "My time with you was my… my happiest."

Her breathing turned quiet and soft. Merlin, defeated, merely rocked her in his arms and held her close.

Arthur finally expelled a slow, deep breath and none had followed.

* * *

"I knew you'd be here."

Merlin didn't bother opening his eyes to greet his friend; he already knew what he would see on Guinevere's face, anyway.

"My lord, you are needed back in the castle," Gwen beseeched. Merlin felt the grass shift as the maidservant settled beside him.

"Don't call me that," he snarled, voice a little muffled against his arms across his face. "Not even a day has passed, Gwen."

"And yet, you are still crowned King, Merlin," she murmured. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and try as he might, he could not bring himself to shake it off him. He was tired, _so_ tired, and the feel of her warm hand slightly comforted his weary heart. "Camelot needs you back, my _lord_."

Merlin sighed and peeked one eye. As what he had predicted, worry lines etched Gwen's lovely face. "I didn't ask to be king," he softly declared.

She gave him a sad, little smile. "Arthur wanted this and you know it." She almost felt apologetic at how he flinched at the mention of his beloved's name, but Gwen's eyes were hard and steadfast. "And you know she wouldn't want… _this_." She gestured at his pitiful appearance, prompting him to scowl. Merlin might be dressed in the riches fabrics in the whole Five Kingdoms, proudly bearing the Pendragon colors and seal, but underneath all these extravagance, he was still a lonely man with a broken heart.

Pitiful indeed.

"Merlin, please, you should do this to yourself."

He resolutely looked away as tears gathered in his eyes. Princess – _no_ – Queen Arthur's funeral was still fresh in his mind. The time between her death to her funeral were all a blur to Merlin. All he knew was that Kilgharrah had brought him and the corpse of Arthur back into Camelot so that Merlin could finally be crowned King and fulfill his destiny. The whole council were predictably skeptical and hesitant to pass on the crown to a _peasant_ , but the rightful Queen of Camelot's words were absolute. Despite her passing, the council still wanted to honor Queen Arthur's last wishes.

A week had passed before Merlin was crowned king. The whole kingdom mourned for the death of their beloved Pendragon Queen, yes, but the throne could not be left vacant for a very long time. Surprisingly, Merlin was welcomed with open arms, the stories about his undying love for their wonderful queen touching their very souls. To see a peasant on the throne won the hearts of almost all the citizens of Camelot; nobles had no choice but to concede and accept Merlin as the new King of Camelot.

He wanted to desperately say no, to give away the crown to someone who would be more knowledgeable about ruling a wonderful kingdom. But Kilgharrah's words, the prophecy, and Arthur's absolute faith in him stopped him from stepping down and now, Merlin had no choice but to accept his destiny.

"I miss Arthur too," Gwen whispered, a forlorn tear streaming down her cheek. "Desperately so, if I were honest with myself."

"Why did she have to - " A choked sob escaped from his mouth, but a wry smile was gracing his face.

"I know," she knowingly replied.

Merlin released a deep, shaky sigh and haphazardly wiped his right hand across his wet face. "The people of Camelot will forever remember that Queen _Arianna_ had died valiantly for them."

Despite her tears, Gwen chuckled. "Arthur will surely haunt you from the grave after you revealed to the whole kingdom of her best-kept secret," she lightly scolded.

Mournfully, he replied, "It was… it was the best revenge I could think of for leaving me alone in… in this world." His face crumpled as his heart throbbed once more in misery. Merlin let Gwen gather him into her arms, and the two friends silently wept for their lost friend and love.

"I miss her," he cried, tightly clinging onto her arms as if they were his lifeline. "I-I miss her so much and I d-don't think this feeling will ever go away."

"I know, Merlin," Gwen soothingly whispered as her tears slipped down onto the top of his black, messy hair. "I know."

They stayed for a few moments, lost in their grief for the death of Arthur, before Gwen reluctantly pulled away first and cajoled Merlin to come back to the kingdom with her.

Night was already falling and the moon was making its way up into the sky. It would undoubtedly be a nice night, and Merlin thought it was unfair how the outside world could continue to still go on while all he wanted was for everything to stay still and mourn.

Sighing, thinking nothing was ever fair in this world, he let Gwen direct him towards the horses tied near the lake. But then, he suddenly stopped her with a silent plea.

Merlin slowly walked towards the lake. He peered into the water and could almost see Arthur's ocean eyes staring back at him, could almost hear her laughter ringing delightfully against his ears, and could almost feel her loving touch leaving burning trails on his flesh. He tightly closed his eyes as more tears fell, then whispered a soft spell towards his fisted hand.

Opening his hand, a daisy sat and gingerly, Merlin placed it on the water and watched the waves wash it away from the shore.

* * *

 _ **FIN**_

* * *

 **A/N: End of fic! Please tell me what you think in your reviews.**

 **Although short, I honestly had a hard time writing the last chapter. Oh well, I hope more people will explore this concept of Female!Arthur. Female!Merlin is actually becoming quite popular these days, and I find myself enjoying reading them as much as reading Merthur slash. I think it will be interesting if more writers tried to create fanfic Female!Arthurs in the future.**

 **That's it for now. Once again, thank you for giving this fic a try.**

 **With love,  
** **WickedlyAwesomeMe**


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